Monday, December 28, 2009

Banana Ninjas

Samuari, Ninjas, Bananas, oh my. I will run this campaign. Or play in it if I can force someone to DM it. The silly is of exceptional quality.

Friday, December 25, 2009

On the subject of Treasure...

This jolly turtle has certainly found treasure in that strawberry. If you run your games right with the right players you can give out what's known as "story rewards". These tend to be cool tidbits that are relevant to the players' characters but don't affect the mechanics of the game in a significant fashion. All in all they're a win-win for any DM who can pull them off. Merry whatever it is you're celebrating or not celebrating today. GIS is source for this image. Look for turtle and strawberry, you'll find it.
LooneyDM out

Thursday, December 24, 2009

More RP Quotes

I blame the holiday for my lack of timely updates. Thus it is written, thus it shall be done. Thus I have quotes for your viewing pleasure. This should give you a window into the insanity of the people I game with on a regular basis.

From my erratic game:
Kanoa( gnome illusionist with a frog familiar)
Rasia(human druid with a dog animal companion)
They were both playing with each others extra character in the mapping program and the animals were flying around the screen.
Kanoa: Give me back my frog!
Rasia: Not until you give me back my dog!

From my real life saturday game:
Rynasia: May I eat one of his fingers?
Attapacca: I give them all the mom eye.

DM: There is a chest.
Looney: It's fully of snakes.
Vissar: Snakes on a boat.

Cecilia: There's a little christmas tag on the chest.

Looney: I would like to cast the monkey ritual.

Looney: You're not allowed to have any weapons you can't pronounce.

Tirah: I'd like to be in front. *Her mini is moved to the very front* No not way in front.

DM: What is that attack against?
Tirah: The enemy

Looney: Ker-doom
Attapacca: I'm going to sing the doom song now. Doom de doomy doom doom

DM: He fails his save.
Tirah: 10, suck em up cupcake

Cecilia: I move away willfully, does he take his opportunity attack
DM: Yes...he misses.
Cecilia: As a free action I flip him off.

Cecilia: The dragon has a lair we can loot, right?
Attapacca: Knowing our luck he still lives with his mother.

After we're attacked in our home and its mentioned that they're after Cecilia specifically
Ceclia: Did you attack me because I'm a tiefling or because I'm awesome.

Cecilia: I'm going to dye my hair and buy new clothes.
DM: When under stress, go shopping!

Attapacca: Meanwhile back at Mount Doom...

DM: What's your breath weapon?
Tirah: The dog.

DM: He misses.
Attapacca: My sword laughs at him.

DM referring to the fact that leaders in 4e rarely affect themselves with their powers.
DM: Leaders give, they don't receive.

LooneyDM out

Monday, December 21, 2009

Bad Campaigns

There comes a time in every player's career when they need to stand up and tell the GM that their campaign is retarded. As you can see, it even happened to Captain America. Telling your GM is going to be much easier since your GM isn't the Incredible Hulk and won't rip you to pieces for speaking poorly about his campaign. At least I'd hope not. Because if there's some other DM out there who has mad hulk out powers I am entirely jealous. I'd ask for your bad campaign stories but I'm sure it would get out of hand almost immediately.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Non-D&D fantasy worlds

Fantasy is such a broad descriptor but yet so many people's minds jump straight to Tolkien style or Rowling style without half a thought. Bizarre stuff like a man handing out balloons to children in old style diving suit helmets doesn't cross their mind. I'll get my crazy fantasy world running yet! It shall be a grand masterpiece to rival that which has come before it!
Today's poster art brought to you by MyNameIsSwann on deviantart
LooneyDM out

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Lesbian Stripper Ninjas

Nothing like a scantily clad female leading ninja clad enemies on a merry rooftop chase through an oriental styled city late at night. At least not if you're trying to run a serious game. I'm sure there's a person out there who has used a character like the pictured lady in a serious campaign and not had it disrupt the seriousness. I can imagine it happening, but I'll abstain from that for now. You know there are players out there who are playing this character seriously. There are also people playing this character ironically. Shoot the first on site, and share cookies with the latter.

Saturday Night Game Quotes!:

Klo: dan is not the jerk?
Clementine: Dan is just feisty

Klo: we need to order the golem to roll around on the burning troll to heal him up

LooneyGM: After losing and regaining Pete they decided to stop for a rest, leaving the constructs on guard duty
Pete: I wasn't lost! I was exploring.


Atargatis: Okay, I think it's time we do something very important.
Atargatis: We need to give these Dreadguards names. Or at least Nicknames.
Steely Dan: I think we should just be honest here and start calling them "the bitches"
Clementine: do I get to run the bitches today?
Steely Dan: I think you've done a pretty good job so far
Pete: Bob and Bob.
Steely Dan: how about sexybitch and uglybitch?
Clementine: George and Carlin
Yuyuko: garfield and odie?
Steely Dan: calvin and hobbes!

LooneyGM: good you're all smaller than it
Clementine: i don't like when the DM says stuff like that...
Steely Dan: I sense that it will soon try to eat us
Steely Dan: I sense this with my "it's going to eat me" sense
Klo: im sure you'll feel right at home steely
Later after the monster grapples half the party
Steely Dan: wow, for once I am free and all of you are trapped

Atargatis: "So what's our next move?"
Clementine: "I wonder if someone put them all here or if they're on their own."
Atargatis: Check them for tags?

* Clementine holds the boat in her hands.... and then places it on the edge of the river.
* Clementine says... "HOKEY POKEY!"
* Steely Dan looks uncomfortable
* Atargatis sighs
* Atargatis picks up the boat
Clementine: waaait for it
Clementine: DM is typing.
LooneyGM: The boat expands from clementine's hands into a 10 foot long craft that spans the river.
Klo: ...Hokey Pokey?
Steely Dan: Atargatis has super strength! or is crushed by the boat!

Klo: girl only!
Steely Dan: you're a boy too Klo!
Clementine: nope, Klo did a sex change a while back because we kept insisting he was she.
Steely Dan: really? huh
LooneyGM: I thought she was joking about the sex change
Clementine: yeah. no?
Klo: Looney thinks im a girl :/
Clementine: Klo, what are you?
Klo: I have no idea now

* Clementine ties the rope to the golem
* Clementine rolls: 1d20 use rope => 4
* Clementine utterly fails to tie a knot.
Steely Dan: ...
Clementine: Um... help?
Clementine: My old fingers just aren't as skilled as they use to be...
Klo: ... Just ask the golem to hold one end of the rope? It can do that right?
* BEC rolls: 1d20+2 use rope => 1 + 2 = 3
* Clementine offers the rope to someone else.
Steely Dan: ...
Clementine: ...
* Steely Dan rolls: 1d20+1 use rope => 3 + 1 = 4
Atargatis: "It's been a while since I've done any knot-tying.
Clementine: Anyone else?
Steely Dan: ...
Clementine: ...
LooneyGM: the golem can hold the rope if it needs to

Atargatis: Only one left, it can't last long
LooneyGM: The mephit joins its fellows in the river
Atargatis: I can see the future!

LooneyDM out

Monday, December 14, 2009

Horror games

There's something so incredibly iconic about a dilapidated gas station overrun by dark mysterious shapes. They look so delightfully horrific in the "will they steal your shadow or will they suddenly transform into a multi fanged horror" sort of way. Horror is so much better when it's not a run from the scary monster fest. However building the suspense of the situation is most difficult in a RPG session. I will run a horror campaign one of these days. It will be grand and magnificent classic horror with the unknown in the dark that you are afraid of instead of the silly "OMG MONSTER" stuff that you see today. Until that day comes I will wait, biding my time.
Art by Jollyjack. Again. I use more of his art than anyone else's. I should probably donate him a few dollars. Or buy more of his awesome art.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Clerics (now with 75% less rant)

Isn't it grand to have a shiny white mage girl to make your point for you? I like clerics. They're one of my favorite classes. However games where clerics get to be something other than a heal bit- I mean battery are few and far between. I herefore demand that any designer who is even *thinking* about including clerics in their game shall consult with me and I shall render unto them my expertise to create a fun and usable class. Mike Mearls, I'm looking at you.

Art by saitoufly on deviant art.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Pretty Boys and RPGs

I got lazy on transcribing quotes, so have some motivation. This is likely a complete disservice to the female portion of our hobby. On the other hand, imagine how many females we'd have in the hobby if RPGs had this guy on the cover of most of the books. Of course that delves into a whole "quality vs quantity" discussion that I'm not touching with an eleven foot pole.
Looney Out.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

The cast of leverage based of their roles

This is the first of several themed sets of posters. This one is based off the characters from the excellent show Leverage. I went with the best fit for each member of the team as some of them have multiple roles that they cover. Also the modern settings they run in don't exactly lend themselves completely to the roles that D&D has set up this iteration.

Hardison is 100% controller, even when he's not behind the computer screen.

Take hits and dish them out? Yup, Elliot's a defender.

Parker is really the only one of the team who comes close to striker, especially since most strikers are highly skill focused.

Sophie's mostly controller. She's got a bit of leader in her when she's not running the grifter role.

Nate is definitely a leader. Even if people aren't going to follow him absolutely, he's got the skills to back up his ideas.

The big takeaway from this huge post is that you should watch Leverage. As a GM, it will give you excellent ideas of how to pass around the spotlight during your game. As a player, it's a damn fun show.

Looney out.

Saturday, December 5, 2009


Minions are a wonderful possession. Even if they are hamsters. Doubly so if those hamsters have tiny AK-47s or whatever the heck this hamsters is holding in its grubby little paws. If I had minions, this blog would update on time. That is all.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Silly quotes from the game I run

My saturday group is a good group. They're my longest running game and have been together for nearly 3 years now over several different campaigns. Without further nonsense, my lovely saturday group:

(After yet another person forgets that while Klo's player is female, her character is male)
Klo: You're forcing a gender change on my character!

Corbinus: Maybe I'll rebuild my Kenku rogue into a half ogre druid
LooneyDM: not complete rebuilding, she only changed some feats
Steely Dan: "you wake up after resting, and suddenly corbinus is a half-ogre. a wizard did it."

Mason: I totally didn't fail to hit the enemy on my first encounter.
Steely Dan: you totally did

Dwirnem: "Before he was the Black One, he was my teacher of the arcane arts."
Steely Dan: damn! my money was on him being dwirnem's brother
Clementine: :0
Corbinus: Duhn duhn duhn
* LooneyDM cues dramatic music
Atargatis: I was betting he was an official of some kind
Steely Dan: you're pretty close
* Atargatis nods in sad understanding.
Clementine: my money was on Mrs. Plumb in the Library.

Corbinus: You call this Demogorgon is difficult...this is merely challenging.
Atargatis: Oh. My. Gawd. DoubleBaboon!

Atargatis: I had fun being reckless and getting pummeled.

Atargatis: "...Clementine, how long are these thorns going to last, anyway?"
Clementine: Um...
Klo: "Don't hug anyone"

Atargatis: Rally some gnolls and lizards and .... little... oily things?
Steely Dan: Nae, drrragons sounds more fun

Klo: we're resting and trying to figure out how to heal the golems
Steely Dan: kay
Atargatis: But because golems can't sleep, we have to find another way to fix them up
Corbinus: Now we are setting fire to the tavern to heal the golems.

LooneyDM: The darkness flows off the bridge like a dense fog. Even those of you with darkvision cannot penetrate its depths
* Steely Dan makes rude gestures
Steely Dan: I'll penetrate YER depths

Atargatis: I'm rolling my meatspace die for damage (our game runs online)

Steely Dan: but
Steely Dan: but I wanna kill 'im
Atargatis: "Next time, Dan."
* Steely Dan makes sad puppy dog face
LooneyDM as gnoll: "No listen to little man, no kill"
* gnoll makes sad hyena face

Clementine: I"m hoping we find another wand of vigor or something.
Steely Dan: steely has a wand of vigor
Steely Dan: IN HIS PANTS

Have a merry whatever the heck we're celebrating these days.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Getting your players involved in a new campaign

There's nothing quite like an immediate, unignorable threat to jump start a new campaign. Whether it be an invading army of aliens or the more mundane evil wizard laying waste to the countryside. For the more subtle among you there's always the overly suspicious death or of the resident noble's favorite child. Dropping the flash bang grenade of plot on your players will quickly get them into the action. It might delay their getting into character, but at least you'll have their attention.
Monday's need to stop happening on Tuesdays! I swear there's a time bandit stealing all my mondays. An alien invasion is an entirely classic way to start a sci fie campaign. Or you can simply start the campaign years after the invasion if you want a freedom fighter campaign, or an occupied and dangerous land. Alien invasions are so terribly versatile.
This art comes to us from SID75 on deviant art.