Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Book Collections

You know your RPG book collection is large. And it would be sacrilege to call it too large. But there comes a point when the books start escaping on their own, especially the ones that you don't use anymore. Perhaps yours are better organized than this person's. Perhaps your collection makes the one at your friendly local gaming store look sad. Who knows, either way you slice it, you've got too many damn books!

LooneyDM out

Monday, September 26, 2011


The best traps are the ones you never see coming. I'd say like this one but it's fairly obvious that it's a trap. That said it's a good one. No one expects the elevator floor trap. Or any of the traps that a competent villain might install. After all the best traps are the traps that aren't traps at all. They're the ones like ambushes that you can't disable with a skill check. Of course there is advantage to be had if someone figures out there's an ambush, but the trap isn't completely bypassed. I do prefer traps that make sense for their location. Hideous death traps are all well and good for a tomb that is supposed to be sealed up with only the dead inside. Not so much sense in putting one of those in a major corridor for a base that is used with high frequency. After all you know someone is going to forget the trick to avoid the trap and then you're out a minion which gets expensive if you lose enough and does horrible things to morale. Thus alarm spells and things your minions are immune to work much better.

Art from WIN!
LooneyDM out.

Friday, September 23, 2011

High Magic Settings

I enjoy high magic settings. It's fun to consider the implications of magic. While you could end up with a world that looks a lot like our high technology world that's no fun at all. After all baby dragons powering ovens could lead to all sorts of ethical and logistical difficulties. Depending on what sort of magic is easiest to conjure the tone of the setting changes drastically. After all if necromancy is non-evil and reliable the world is different than if illusions are the only magic that is easy enough to be worth the effort. This of course explains why I find Eberron so intriguing. Hooray for magitek settings!

Quotes from real life game:

Barden "Bones" : I don't have swirly purple dice. I have dice envy.

Thalia (to minotaur druid): We have to keep you away from china shops.

DM: The staircase descends into darkness.
All: dun Dun DUN!

Bones: It's not delivery it's Dzoran (Dzoran, my halfling sorcerer. I hate naming characters)

Curd(Minotaur Druid): I got these licked.
Gareth: Salt licked.

Dzoran: Everyone's shooting lightning out their ass today.
Curd: And it burns.

DM: Elf and halfing pudding. The halfing pudding is the light stuff.
Curd: Half the calories.

Gareth(to minotaur druid): Don't worry, if you die we'll honor you with a barbecue

Thalia(goliath warden): Are they human like me?

Bones (Dwarf Cleric): Who's the leader of this party?
Looney: I thought you were.

Crud: In all my D&D groups I've never seen a PTK.
Gareth: TPK?

Tor: 19+20...
Gareth: That's his once a week power.

DM: They both go down.
Looney(halfling sorcerer): I do a little dance, and I do mean little.
Bones: You can't do anything more.

DM: This is the most powerful holy symbol you've found.
Looney: This is the only holy symbol we've found.

Thalia: That's not a rat.
Tor: It's a flaming rat.
Thalia & Bones: Oh hay!
DM: The room is full of rats.
Bones: Oh rats.

Bones: I attack the wat.

Bones: My warhammer needs a name.
Looney: Thelma
Thalia: Buffy
Curd: Piffer
Bones: I shall name it Squishy.

Curd(Minotaur druid): I'm going to shift back.
DM: Chicken.
Curd: No, beef.

DM: You see some sort of blobby things.
Curd: Who's in the mood for jello?

Curd: 10 points of damage.
DM: To?
Curd: 10 points of damage.
DM: To?
Curd: Does it have 8 resist?
DM: Which one are you attacking?

Thalia: Feed the halfing to it.
Looney(Halfing): Halfings are not good eats
Bones: They're like an appetizer.
Tor: Hot Wings
Looney: Halfings are not Cajun either.

Bones: It wobbles at us menacingly.

Bones: Is the fungus edible.
Thalia: Yes, but you'll be seeing pink elephants.
Bones: It's for medicinal purposes.
Gareth: Sure, medicinal. It's for your "glacoma"

Thalia: We'll dress the halfling as a singing telegram.
Looney: I'm a halfling, not an oompa loompa.
Thalia: A little orange paint will fix that.

LooneyDM out

Wednesday, September 21, 2011


A picture is worth a thousand words. So here's a picture about imagination that's been turned into many posters over time. New game starts tonight and boy am I behind schedule!

LooneyDM out

Monday, September 19, 2011

Pirates vs. Ninjas

In honor of this most sacred holiday, have a epic poster that needs no explanation.

Art from here

LooneyDM out

Friday, September 16, 2011

Fantasy Architecture

Take a look at that castle. Take a good look. The obvious first response goes along the lines of "Impressive" "Awesome" "Snazzy". Then you should take a closer look. How the heck does a castle stay on a waterfall like that. Erosion would wipe it out with in a year, if not a few months. Not to mention the paths to it would be toppling even sooner. And there's no way you'd get a boat out there. One false steer and over the falls you go. Which of course means there's no way the castle could have been built in the first place, save for a bored wizard trying to build the most ridiculous castle he could. Definitely a high magic setting here.

LooneyDM out

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Child PCs

Who doesn't love it when the PCs best excuse for why they shouldn't be held accountable for the rash of murders they just committed is "but I'm too young, cute, innocent, etc". Especially if their actions make it clear that they're absolutely none of the above. For many a child PC is just an excuse to add an extra level of crazy onto their already bizarre concept. For some reason the little girl necromancer is a popular option. I just don't get it. I guess some people really enjoy creeping out the other players.

Art from here
LooneyDM out

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Campaign Ends

Every campaign must come to an end. How they end can be up to the DM, or sometimes up to the players. Greek game is ending, though not with the Eiffel tower sinking into a swamp. It was almost a "BBEG shot dead in the middle of his monologue". The BBEG didn't monologue but he did almost drop in the first round. Thank goodness for savage worlds bennies and good vigor rolls. On the other hand it would have been really amusing to have him go down in the first shot. That's just how my sense of humor rolls. It also would make for a great story after the fact. After all which is more amusing in the telling "They had an epic battle and pulled through by the skin of their teeth" or "They one shot the BBEG right off the bat, first attack, no survivors". Personally I'd go with the latter.
Art from here
Last Quotes from Greek game:

Aeton: (( Was difficult to find you guys. I must have been wandering around bricks for hours. ))

Andreas: my toughness is 9
Andreas: (( that was ooc ))
Mnemosyne: (( What, Andreas didn't shout 'My Toughness is Niiiiiiiine!" to the heavens? ))
Andreas: (( No. he would shoud "My Toughness is OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAND!" ))

LooneyGM: (( everything explodes ))
Mnemosyne: (( Everything explodes? Well I guess that ends the fight! ))

Lykaios: (( trying to figure out what is more stunning, your looks or your arrows ))

Mnemosyne: (( I think you just crushed it into a tin can ))
Andreas: (( I shall fill it with hummus ))
Andreas: (( for a party in my honor ))
Mnemosyne: (( I'll bring some pitas to go with ))
Lykaios: (( i'll bring the squirrel ))
Andreas: (( you are not invited to Andreas's party ))
Andreas: (( he doesn't want everyone to get food poisoning ))
Lykaios: (( but you look a lot better in comparison besides me. It's the wingman affect ))
Andreas: (( the son of Zeus does not need a wingman! ))
Lykaios: (( then he'll be the dreaded cock block! ))

* Andreas rolls: d8+d6+d6 => 5 + 1 + 2 = 8
Andreas: (( aw. lemme reroll that 1 ))
* Andreas rolls: d6 => 2
Andreas: (( ...yay ))
LooneyGM: (( so 9? ))
Andreas: (( yes ))
VortGM: (( this will not be enough, do you wish to benny again ))
Andreas: (( um. sure. ))
* Andreas rolls: d6 => 2
Andreas: (( whatever I'm done, Zeus has forsaken me ))

LooneyDM out

Monday, September 5, 2011


There are days when your players' crazy antics cause you trouble left and right. Then there are the days that they conquer the BBEG and come up with a deliciously silly plan to forever humiliate their defeated foe. Like installing a waterslide in the previously evil cultist infested temple and building a theme park around it. Those are the days that I live for as a DM. It warms the cockles of my heart when they do crazy crap like this. Every single time. It's why I have a quote and poster blog instead of some other sort of blog.

Art from GIS for waterslide
LooneyDM out

Sunday, September 4, 2011


How many times has this happened in fantasy? Kid finds magical book, castle, wand, you name it and then ends up spending the rest of their childhood trying to fix the problems that their initial interaction with it caused. Aren't you glad you didn't have those sorts of magical adventures now? Okay probably not. I don't know of anyone who didn't dislike at least parts of elementary school. Of course if it had been elemental school instead that would have been an entirely different matter. Though you really shouldn't be teaching kids that sort of stuff.

Art from here


Haruhi: "He had me at stocked with provision"

LooneyDM (( No, Dalin Vadalis is not Mr. T ))

I'kishaeila: (( Thelema is like a Pat. ))
I'kishaeila: (( it's just not clear and it's awkward when speaking to it ))
Haruhi: (( or like a Haruhi! ))

Pliny: (( Actually, let's skip the whole adventure and get right to the cake baking ))

LooneyGM: Last session our monsters waded into a few piles of ochre jelly, whcih quickly became many many piles of ochre jelly
Iki: (( we made jelly sammiches. ))

LooneyGM: (( it's actually 2200 gp because you're a large creature. ))
Haruhi: (( he's saying you're fat ))

Iki: (( I have lol hp left. ))

Haruhi: (( I feel like I should have haruhi sleeping on all these papers ))

Haruhi: (( soooo unleash horde of fiends upon the earth ))
Haruhi: (( or stay stuck here with Tellas ))
* Haruhi is in favor of freeng everyone

Iki: Great... so now we have a swarm of aggrivated kitten beasts below. Anyone have a ball of yarn...?
Pliny: (( ...Can we adopt them? ))
LooneyGM: (( no you may not adopt the khyberspawn ))

Haruhi: (( I think they are on fire, and making them MORE on fire is probably not going to do anything ))

Haruhi: "We're never alone, we have each other!"
LooneyGM: (( d'aww, power of friendship go! ))
Haruhi: "I kill it you grill it! And put it into a sandwich for me!"
Haruhi: (( power of hanging around people who have hands for making food ))

Pliny: (( I can not fly. ))
Haruhi: (( you can if we throw you hard enough ))

LooneyGM: (( guess what happens now! ))
Boddywyn: (( more fire? ))
Iki: (( fire? ))
Haruhi: (( cake falls from the sky! ))

LooneyDM out