Expectations

Players are a creative bunch.  Especially when it comes to crazy plans.  At least mine are.  I'm sure you could tell by all the quotes I drop here.  I try not to plan too much in advance because I know they'll continue to surprise me with their new and inventive ways to show me just how crazy they really are.  I love it!
Art from WotC Art Gallery
LooneDM out

Explosives

I have to say I enjoy using explosives as a player.  Even as a DM they can be amusing.  However it's nice when you don't have to deal with prodigious amounts of explodey death.  But moving to a fantasy system just won't cut it with all the magical explodiness.  Skull Bombs away!
Art from WotC art gallery
LooneyDM out

New Players

New players are a joy to have.  Especially when they want to try things your regular veterans don't want to try because they feel conventional wisdom would be against them.  New players simply don't know what the rules don't allow so they try the oddball stuff.  Of course if you roll with it it can lead you into places you never new your game could go.

Picture from GIS for "Wile E Coyote"
LooneyDM out

Corners

Early in my DMing career I made some decisions to slack off on my prep.  This was not the best idea.  I paid for it later when the players took an unexpected turn which left me in a corner DMing wise.  I tried to take out a wall to make up for it but it didn't go over so well.

Picture from GIS for "painting yourself into a corner"
LooneyDM out

Lazy

Lazy day

art from GIS for "lazy D&D map"
LooneyDM out

Insanity

I have two things to say on the subject of insanity.  If you think about it in most D&D or D&D like settings the actions of the players is fairly crazy, bordering on psychosis.  Of course this is what makes the game enjoyable for everyone.  Though it can lead to players feeling they deserve certain immunities for their actions.  The other I am going to say is my players are crazy. :)

Art from GIS for "crazy D&D"
LooneyDM out

Quotes

Pliny: (( You clear out a den of cultists, and then a new bunch crops up ))
Iki: (( like weeds, they are! ))

LooneyDM: (( why are you trying to tie the cultist up? ))
Thransil: (( because we are into that sort of thing? ))

Thransil: (( I didn't think that "Iki" and "sneaky" were ever to be used in the same sentence?))

warforged 2: "What sort of compensation are you offering?"
Iki: (( hawt chicks. ))
Iki: (( of the metal persuasion. ))
Thransil: (( lol...cyberwomen? ))

Pliny: (( Pliny is not always the most sensible ))
Iki: (( pliny is an ARTIST, and has EMOTIONS. ))

Pliny: (( He is a storyteller, and is therefore hypersensitve to people who carry around big signs that say 'I am the campain's main villain!' ))

LooneyDM: The double doors lead to a luxurious cabin.
Pliny: "Can this be my room?"

I'kishaeila: So how do we convince the warforged to take us back? Money? Female robots?

Pliny: (( They LOVE us! We saved them from things, like, three times! ))

LooneyDM: (( no word yet on what he's going to do with those forces ))
I'kishaeila: (( they're just gonna get drive through at taco bell. ))

LooneyGM: (( at least they didn't buy you a catapult or giant slingshot ))
Pliny: (( Don't be silly, you can't catapult me! ))
Pliny: (( You catapult one of the tanks. So they can hit the enemy with that much more force! ))

Pliny: (( Are we sure they're army? Maybe they're just a summer camp ))
LooneyGM: (( because gnolls are known for their summer camping trips ))
Pliny: (( They might. ))
LooneyGM: (( where they violently murder anything that gets in their way and then practice arts and crafts on their remains ))
LooneyGM: (( true, this is eberron where stranger things have happened ))
Pliny: (( Yeah! Pelts for leatherworking, and they make friendship bracelets out of the fangs of their enemies ))

Pliny: (( Can I use my firebreath as an AoO? ))
LooneyGM: (( no, but you can use your heatbutt ))

Pliny: (( CRITICAL GRAPPLE ))
Pliny: (( Did we walk into a Gnoll Wrestling league? ))

Thransil: (( apparently...GWL! ))

* I'kishaeila slices and dices and makes fries for all!
LooneyGM: (( gnoll fries ))
Pliny: (( Dear god we are awesome ))
Thransil: (( See! I told you she could fucking slice the shit out of shit! ))

Thransil: (( we should think of whatever the DM expects us to do, and then do something COMPLETELY opposite. ))
LooneyGM: (( I expect you to spend the next 30 - 45 minutes trying to make up your minds on what to do ))

* Iki does not relax, but does not kill Thransil.

Iki: No more mind-talks. I will beat you with your brain next time you do that.

Thransil(drow): (( uncommon? wtf? ))
Thransil(drow): (( undercommon... ))

Drogun: (( plus the more we wander the more we have chances to run into killables ))

Iki: (( I misread that as kibbles. ))

Iki: (( and we shall fly over this Grimstone and tickle its feet to make it Happystone. ))

Iki: (( I appreciate violence. ))
Thransil: (( lol you do, or Iki does? ))
Iki: (( yes ))

Thransil: (( split party soup? ))
Pliny: (( I can't tell if that's a delicious idea, or if we're the main ingredient in that soup ))

Pliny: (( My tombstone: "His sleep song finally worked! Too bad about all of the fire." ))

Iki: (( did i just give my soul to the dark? ))
Thransil: (( again? ))

Pliny: (( Skill is where my strength is ))
Pliny: (( And strength is where my weakness is ))
Pliny: (( What I'm trying to say is, I need help moving a couch ))

Pliny: (( So many things... ))
Pliny: (( Pliny has ALL the things! ))

Pliny: (( I dunno what kind of parking we can get in the Great Crag ))
LooneyGM: (( the usual parking of leaving it whereever ))

Pliny: (( But it could get stolen! Not unlike how we stole it ))
I'kishaeila: (( we need the Club for Ships. ))

Pliny: (( If we got a parrot-sized dragon, we would be REQUIRED to become Sky Pirates. ))

Drogun: (( come to me! I have healing hugs! ))

LooneyDM: (( goblins are good industrious city folk here ))
Iki: (( we could hire them to work on our ship ))
Iki: (( and to dance for our entertainment. ))

Tzaryan Rrac: "Don't approach any closer. We can talk at this distance."
Pliny: "WHAT? YOU'RE GOING TO NEED TO SPEAK UP."

Tzaryan Rrac: "So I ask you. What do you want?"
I'kishaeila: (( I WANT A PONY. ))

Pliny: "Bards tend not to make five year plans. We must be free to travel as we please."

Thransil: (( but cleavage is nice, why would you want to claw it? ))
I'kishaeila: (( clawing cleavage? ))
I'kishaeila: (( sounds uncomfortable   ))
Drogun: (( I get excited... ))

LooneyGM: Four unusually hairly goblins patrol the room in addition to the caged creatures
Thransil: (( unusually hairy goblins...too much Rogaine? ))
Thransil: (( do they make Rogaine for goblins? ))

* Thransil fires a line of cone at the goblin

LooneyGM: (( Does anyone want to do anything before or during the trip? ))
I'kishaeila: (( I want to spit off the side. ))

Pliny: "Our last attempt to beat up a country didn't go so well, Iki."

I'kishaeila: "But I have a telepathic puff of light now!"

I'kishaeila: (( Her name will be Tits hence forth. Tits the advisor. ))

Pliny: (( Why would we walk anywhere now that we have an airship? ))
Pliny: (( I probably take that thing to the Farmer's market on weekends! ))

* Pliny is way to excited about the prospect of legally parking an airship
I'kishaeila: (( because we are tottally inconspicuous at the docks? ))
Pliny: (( For us, 'not killing everyone' is inconspicuous ))
aeridus: (( wait, so firebombing a city during an airship landing is illegal? ))
Pliny: (( Yeah. It counts as littering. ))

* Pliny just looks at Iki to see if this is a good idea
Pliny: (( Iki is in charge of potentially violent capers ))

Pliny: (( We stole the bad guy's ship ))
Pliny: (( He can totally track that thing ))
I'kishaeila: (( shoot, we forgot to reset the gps locator ))

LooneyGM: (( sasquatch? ))
Pliny: (( Very important to remain on guard for sasquatches ))

Pliny: "...We should keep it."
I'kishaeila: "For science? Or dinner?"

* Iki rolls: d20+17 => 20 + 17 = 37
LooneyGM: Iki pushes back against the rock
Pliny: (( CRITICAL ROCK N' ROLL! ))

Pliny: (( The nice thing about the directions is that we can backtrace them at need. And then use your spell to get out when we need to! ))
Wibble: (( for instance, we may wish to visit the nearest pub when we leave ))

* Wibble glares at Iki
I'kishaeila: (( YOU HAVE NO EYES ))

Wibble: (( I AM DIGESTING EYES ))

Wibble: (( I will use them as proxies ))

* Wibble drools at the thought of bunnies

* Wibble makes the skeleton give the ghost the middle finger and quickly walks back

Pliny: (( Where can we find a pint of blood? We've only seen skeletons! ))

Pliny: (( Yes, sadly I lack the 'whittle human bone into convincing epaulet' skill ))

Wibble: (( would the ghost object if you took all of them? you could use the non-magic ones as shotglasses ))

LooneyGM: Thransil makes off with 20 chalices.
Pliny: (( We can test them on our way back to town, and sell the ones that we're sure aren't the real deal ))
Pliny: (( you guys we are opening a chalice store! ))
I'kishaeila: (( you seem to be well in to your cups. ))

Pliny: (( Dang, you're rolling like me today, Iki. Complete with the screaming numbers ))

Wibble: (( quick, someone cup her ))

Iki: (( I am not a people person.  My charisma says so. ))

I'kishaeila: (( Looney has been very map-happy tonight. ))
Pliny: (( It's because we've been making decisions at an unusual rate. Normally it takes us an hour to move from one map to another! ))

LooneyGM: In addition to all their traveling they returned the chalice to First Warlock Adal
Wibble: (( and he now uses it to store his D+D dice ))

Thransil: (( keeping our pimp hand strong? ))
Pliny: (( For charity. ))

Traps

Traps are a thorny subject in D&D.  Both literally and figuratively.  They can grind the session to a complete halt.  This is bad.  Especially when most players' perception of traps is more akin to what happens in the opening scene of Raiders of the Lost Ark.  Run run, dodge dodge, jump jump.  That said I did use a rolling boulder trap against my players.  There was a door, but it was locked and they took effort to delay the boulder to avoid being squished.

Art from GIS for "D&D traps" probably from a 4e book based on the art style.
LooneyDM out

GMs Day

Today is GMs day.  This means you should show appreciation to your GM however you feel is appropriate.   Or inappropriate as the case may be. 

Art from GIS for "D&D behind the screen"
LooneyDM out

Hammy Deaths

As a DM you need to have fun with your game.  Hamming up the deaths of enemies is just one of the memorable options you can take to have your fun.  The monster is going to die anyways so enjoy their short existence by dragging it out into a 10 minute death scene.

Art from WotC Art Gallery
LooneyDM out

Been a while so quotes:

Dashiyn: (( I don't want to take damage   ))
Markarian: (( arent you a pile of damage taking meat, get in there nature boy ))

Rendar: You should probably count yourself lucky he isn't trying to hit on you Pitch.
Markarian: Ive tried, shes forstier than a frost giants behind
Pitch:  "Yeah, that happened years ago. Don't you remember?"
Pitch: "There were fires."
Markarian: fires of passion. besides, you like the flame
Pitch: " 'Like' and 'am resistant to' are separate things."
Iannes: (( I'd say there were also flail wounds...but we all know that definitely didn't happen! BURN! ))

LooneyGM: (( what languages do you all speak? ))
Pitch: (( Apparently none. Looks like I never filled this out ))

Pitch: (( I'm amazed no one has asked how I know about prison manifests. Which is fine, because I don't have an answer yet ))
Markarian: (( soo, were you ever foxy boxing in a prison? maybe on naked wash day ))
Iannes: (( *smacks markarian* ))
Iannes: (( sexual harassment IN character, please ))

Pitch: (( Ha ha, silly pit trap! It's Pitch that moves, not Pit! ))
Markarian: in soviet russia, pit trap moves you

LooneyGM: (( You find 300 gps worth of residuum in the remains of the trap ))
Rendar: (( I snort it. ))
Iannes: (( I'm pretty sure you now are a +1 barbarian ))

Iannes: Hello goblin folk! We're here to rescue those of you who aren't yet insane!
Rendar: Hey, we'll rescue the insane ones as well.
Iannes: Don't coddle them, that's how you end up with a welfare state

Iannes: (( New party SOP, keep a rust monster in a bag of holding ))
Pitch: (( That sounds like it has a hilarious potential to backfire! ))
Pitch: (( So I'm all for it ))

Iannes: (( We are a well oiled machine of destruction. ))
Markarian: (( i prefer well lubed ))
Iannes: (( You would. i bet you keep Grease readied at all times ))

Iannes: (( Pitch, you officially have bipolar digital dice ))

Pitch: "Aaah. There is peace in my soul. Maybe it's the glow of victory... maybe it's the fire."
Markarian: (( or my painfull death ))
Rendar: "It's probably Markarian lying on the ground."

Markarian: (( i just realized, i could have totally given myself a dragonmark back there ))
Pitch: (( Maybe it would have leveled you out to sane ))

Pitch: (( Anything we own for more than five minutes gets blown up ))

Iannes: (( Oh, yeah. No we suck at sneaking. ))
Iannes: (( Like I could multi-class as a vacuum when it comes to sneaking. ))

Iannes: "Fight now, sexual harassment later!"

Iannes: My inner suicidal voice says we take the sheer clliff face