Conventional Motivation (Downtime)

I had some downtime this weekend as I traveled to the far off land of Seattle to go to PAX. Much fun was had by all participants. Things of note. Saw Paul and Storm for the first time in concert. I may have a new favorite band. Played many board games and video games with all my friends. One very important item I learned this weekend. WotC's official Dungeon Delves are horrible ways to have people learn 4e. Hands down the worst teaching experience I've ever seen. To be fair I'm sure the DM was used to people trying to power through the delve and it appeared that his table was close to a booth where they were getting people to yell for swag. That said, our two rogues were killed before the hour was up (one of which's player had never played any RPG before), the cleric was dragged off by an at-will stun monster, one fighter was nearly dead, the other was hiding in the corner, and the wizard (myself) was pissed due to not finding out earlier that a bridge we were crossing was 30 feet over a ravine thus making my slide power incredibly useful. I did drop an enemy or two off, but it wasn't enough to save us.

So yeah. Delves are a crappy way to learn 4e. Also way to go WotC putting all the learning delves during the big panels and not running any in the middle of the day when we had some time. Doubly way to go because they then cancelled the learning delves on Sunday.

Art from Michael Dashow

LooneyDM out

Cloak of Fire Resistance

Magic items are magical. Thus like the hat of disguise they should take whatever form the wearer desires to best express their form or function. In this case a business suit suffices. Not exactly what you'd expect for a cloak of fire resistance now is it? However it speak wonderfully of the style of the game. It reminds me a little of The Tuxedo, which was a decent Jackie Chan movie other than Jennifer love hewitt who clearly has none of the capabilities necessary to co star in a Jackie Chan movie.

Art from here

LooneyDM out

Familiars and their ilk

Thinking about all the long lived races in D&D, it makes me wonder why you don't see more of them taking humans and demi humans as familiars. After all they could have class levels to make them a potent threat rather than an xp sinkhole. Also opposable thumbs. Don't underestimate the use of opposable thumbs. Cats don't have them, lizards and bats don't have them, demi humans do. Enough said.

Art from here

LooneyDM out

Sorcerers (and quotes)

Motivation for a character can be tricky, especially if you want something original. You start delving into the weirdness. Or the oddly mundane. Or the entirely simplistic. Hence the thought behind today's poster. After all who doesn't like pretty lights?

DM: Where were we?

Goldielocks: Were were about to win D&D. Cthulu had 5 hp left. And it's my turn. And I haven't used my dailies yet.

DM: The card says...

Tirah: How do you know what my card says better than I do?

Vimac: Metagamer!

Looney: If we give the nugget back can we get 50 xp instead of 50 gp

DM: 25 xp.

Vimac: 30 xp.

DM: 25 xp, no more.

Vimac: I don't think we can handle a brontosaurus. Tail whip and bam! we're in the next zip code.

Goldielocks: I rolled a critical metagaming check.

DM: You're swimming along blupblupblup

DM: Init. You'll probably beat them.

Tirah: 23

Vimac: 25

Goldielocks: 25

Looney: 9

DM: Okay, you *points at looney* don't.

Tirah: I do more damage to myself than he does to me.

Tirah: *fails save against ongoing damage*

Goldielocks: *laughs*

Tirah: You're supposed to be on my side.

DM: *burps* That was the monster bellowing, not the DM burping.

Goldielocks: I roll 3 1's for damage. Lowest possible roll.

DM: And killed it.

DM: I'm requisitioning more table space.

Vimac: He filled out the forms in triplicate.

Looney (speaking about goldielocks): His hair glows and lights up the area.

Vimac: Can we enchant his hair as an everburning torch?

Goldielocks: 54 damage. I love my new at-will power.

DM: He's going to kill it

Looney: Unless he rolls a 1

Vimac: *rolls a 1* action point *rolls a 2*

LooneyDM out

Demonic Pacts

Language warning on today's poster. I've always wondered about the kind of people who would go in for a demonic pact. Especially their fashion sense. I guess they just don't dig the whole "glowing with holy light" look and instead go for the "why yes my parents were into bestiality" look. I mean really. While it can be intimidating, anyone with the slightest sense of humor will see past that to the true ridiculousness of the situation. At least with glowing holy light you can crank it up high enough to blind the naysayers. With goat horns you've got nothing. Sure you could headbutt the detractors but you'd just be confirming their suspicions.

Image from random internet searches

LooneyDM out

Mr. Welch's list

Anyone who's read Mr Welch's list know that you sometimes have players like that. Make them sign a waiver stating they won't use his list as a to do list. Otherwise you could be in for a huge mess. A comedic mess but a mess none the less. So do your homework and get your resident loonies to agree to play along with the style of the campaign. Or get a group full of loonies. That leads to even more fun though.

Mr Welch's List

Image from GIS for to do list

LooneyDM out

Prismatic Sphere (and quotes)

Dog in a bubble! Dog in a bubble!

Quotes away:

Helena: (( question ))

Steely Dan: (( 42 ))

Helena: (( still in a grease area ))

Steely Dan: (( stop lubing everyone up ))

Steely Dan: (( so where is the grass? ))

LooneyDM: (( no grass ))

Steely Dan: (( what do you MEAN no grass? ))

Steely Dan: (( nelven rolled for grass! ))

*Rod of wonder hijinks*

*Helena casts glitterdust

Steely Dan: (( glitterdust? ))

Steely Dan: (( I just kind of feel like helena is really here just to make the dungeon more FABULOUS ))

Atargatis: (( Most of the zombie lords should be dwarves, since the necromancer made them out of a dwarven city ))

Steely Dan: (( well if you're going to be all LOGICAL ))

Atargatis: (( I am )

Atargatis: (( I attack you with the force of my LOGIC! ))

Steely Dan: (( melee touch? that bastard! ))

LooneyDM: (( yes he is ))

LooneyDM: (( but don't talk about it, he's sensitive ))

*clementine casts flame strike

Clementine: I'm sorry, bugbears... you're all fired.

Atargatis: (( We're eliminating our bugbear division. ))

Nelven: (( it burns and it freezes, followed by a tingling sensation ))

LooneyDM: The dwarf waves his fingers and summons a swarm of undead rats

Clementine: o_o ew

Steely Dan: (( GROOVY ))

Atargatis: (( Not even living rats, that we could roast and eat? What a poor sport! ))

LooneyDM: (( and fort saves from both of you ))

* Clementine rolls: d20+11 => 1 + 11 = 12

Clementine: ...

* Atargatis rolls: 1d20+7 foooort => 1 + 7 = 8

Clementine: Suddenly... I feel sick.

Clementine: (( this bodes not well for us. ))

Atargatis: (( That cannot be a coincidence. ))

Clementine: (( I agree. )

Clementine: (( Looney cheated ))

Atargatis: "I'm getting sick of these things! ...Literally."

Nelven: (( wand of wonder? ))

LooneyDM: (( fire away if you want ))

Nelven: (( okay, i aim at the middle of that cluster ))

Helena: (( if you turn me purple I'mma be PISSED ))

Atargatis: (( Waitaminute... those aren't dead undead... those are... PIRATE undead! ))

Atargatis: (( Or possibly poisonous undead ))

* Helena causes massive tentacles to suddenly erupt from the floor

* Atargatis rolls: 1d20+12 grapple I think I'm doing it right PLEASE WORK => 7 + 12 = 19

Atargatis: (( If this thing crushes me, fine, but if it gets fresh? I'm comin' after YOU, Helena ))

Helena: (( oh dear ))

* Atargatis cusses out the tentacle loudly

* Atargatis draws a rhino since there isn't a token for it

Nelven: (( awww. how cute ))

Helena: (( it's so cute ))

Atargatis: (( Replacement Rhino! ))

LooneyDM: (( aww ))

Atargatis: (( New Rhino will kill with cuteness! Also with violence ))

Clementine: (( EE! ))

Helena: (( ADORABLE violence ))

Soaring Acorn: "Please pet me."

* Clementine stares blankly at the squirrel.

Helena: (( ok so he wouldn't say that ?_> ))

Atargatis: (( Squirrel requests snuggles! ))

* Clementine pets his widdle head.

Helena: (( he's happy about it! ))

Clementine : Such a cute squirrel!

Atargatis:

"Damn stupid tentacles- Teleport, gods all damn it!"

Atargatis: (( Kaboom! ))

Atargatis: (( Maybe my activation phrase should be 'There's no place like home'? ))

Helena: (( lol ))

Helena: (( do your boots sparkle? ))

Clementine : (( lol ))

Atargatis: (( No... but if you have some spare Glitterdust, we can fix that! ))

LooneyDM out