Quotes from the game I don't DM

I have to say the idea of a comedy game intrigues me, but I'm failing so badly to form coherent thoughts about it that I'm going to skip the inane mental bumblings and simply give you another taste of the humor inherent in my gaming situation. To shorten, here are more quotes from the games I play in. If the quote is labelled from DM and not LooneyDM it's a DM who is not me. Likewise, if a quote is just labelled Looney then I wasn't DMing that game.

Real life game. I don't DM this which explains why it's avoided catastrophe so far

Cecilia: I'm a badass on paper.

Looney: I flank the door. (note, I'm playing a rogue)

We found an illusion of a woman sitting on a throne. After inspecting it and determining it was of no harm and we couldn't take it with us we proceeded to explore the rest of the dungeon.
DM: The other room...
Vissar: ...holds the projector.

(On sneak attacking skeletons in 4e) Looney: I steal their bones one by one.

(On her turn) Cecilia: I love this turn!

We found some scented candles and our fighter decided they would look awesome on top of the horns on his minotaur skull helmet.
Later we decided that we needed to enchant said minotaur helmet to moo

Tirah: Whose side are you on?
Vimach: The side that doesn't get me hit!

DM: Give me perception checks
Tirah: 15
Looney: 21
Rynasia: 22
Vissar: What are we doing?

Tirah: Intimidate. There's nothing quite like the evil mom stink eye

Tirah: You are the black hearted son of a wolf bitch and carrion crow

Vissar: He takes a double shot of espresso

(While fighting a wraith) Vimach: Bad touch, bad touch!

(Singing) DM: Mummy cat, mummy cat, oh oh oh, mummy cat

DNR - Do not resurrect

Ceclia: That was a hard battle.
DM: It was hard for me to watch.

(Vimach is a goliath fighter and he dropped a nat 20 on his steath check) Vimach: I'm stealthy, I'm stealthy.

(Cecilia is a tiefling avenger) Cecilia: You're my oath of emnity *blows a rasberry at the enemy*

DM: *hums a little tune while deciding what to do with the monsters on their turn*
Cecilia: Are they going to move or just sing?

(Vissar is a Longtooth shifter warden) Vissar: I'm going to use Nature's Abundance.
Looney: Hippie.
Tirah: Flower power!

(Cecilia's diety is Xan Yae, goddess of secrets, shadows and balance) Cecilia: Does my diety prohibit drinking? I can't find it anywhere in the Player's Handbook.
Looney: Well, Xan Yae wouldn't approve if you got drunk because you'd lose your balance.

DM: What country are you from?
Tirah: Kansas!

(Running Tirah) Cecilia: She has some weird feat I just noticed.
Vissar: Are they webbed?

(Dice roll knocks Tirah's miniature over) DM: Tirah, a giant boulder rolls through the wall and kills you.

Vissar: I have a negative intelligence modifier.
Looney: I do as well.
Vissar: Team dumb unite!

(speaking about a purse a dead npc had) DM: He has a pouch on his body.
Vissar: I would love to touch his pouch.

That's all for this week's looniness. Next week we'll delve into the depths of the game I run.

LooneyDM Zanzibar