RPG quotes

Today I shall entertain you will various and sundry quotes from RP groups I've DM'd and played with over the past however long it's been. All names are in character to protect the guilty, except quotes from me because I stand proudly by my guilt.

From a city based D&D campaign involving the characters all being part of the same traveling performing group:

Nessa: "sooo, you want to get him drunk?"
Prosepon: "I want to get ME drunk. We've been working in the wine capital of the world for weeks now, and I haven't gotten drunk ONCE yet."

LooneyDM: (Fiera has reds and oranges, Ganut Raum blues and purples, Aleath greens and sky blue)
Ber: (I'm adhering to ALL the houses' colors)

Nessa: (back goes with everything, baby!)

LooneyDM (as guard): "Who are you all?"
Ber: (looks at his skill set)
Ber: (looks at MY skill set. Can't see his)

Short context for this one. Ber is a gnomish beguiler. He's also the only little person in a group of all humans. This makes for very interesting chase scenes, especially when other characters have to carry him for him to keep up.

* Ber rides.
Onala: (I refuse to make horse noises XD )

From a greek themed game with a rotating cast and a rules light system:

How do we fight a hydra? Well when you've got a shiny codpiece you hump it to death.

Britomeda: "Is that the same storm as before?"
Britomeda: "Everyone on tentacle alert!"

Andreas: "Miredos please don't flirt with the sea monsters"
herpicles: "I have it! they're aquatic golddiggers!"

herpicles: "we should totally take watches"
* Miredos takes herpicles' watch

Andreas: "you and your wang!"
* Herscus shushes Andreas with his wang

Andreas: (can andreas hit herscus? or maybe later)
LooneyGM: roll 2d6
dicechan: LooneyGM rolled : 2d6 --> [ 2d6=10 ]{10}
Herscus: (I'm typing while lying down, long day)
Herscus: (Typings a bit off )
LooneyGM: (if you don't want to do damage you can punch him for free)
Andreas: (okay)
* Herpicles attempts to dodge it athletically and keep it out of reach by sticking his iron bar at it
* Andreas punches Herscus for the sandal incident
Herpicles: (16)
* Herscus backflips again
Herpicles: (I keep rolling at least one 6)
Herscus: roll 2d6+4
dicechan: Herscus rolled : 2d6+4 --> [ 2d6=5 ]{9}
Andreas: (you can't roll to dodge my punch)
Herscus: (Like fuck I cant, this is RP ho!)
LooneyGM: (herpicles gets out of the way easily)
Andreas: (YOU HAVE BEEN PUNCHED)
Andreas: (FINE)
Andreas: roll 2d6+100 PUNCH OF DOOM
dicechan: Andreas rolled : 2d6+100 PUNCH OF DOOM --> [ 2d6=8 ]{108}
LooneyGM: The next goes after the singing Miredos
Andreas: (BAM)
Herscus: (Disqualified)
LooneyGM: roll 2d6
dicechan: LooneyGM rolled : 2d6 --> [ 2d6=8 ]{8}
Herscus: (I win)
Herscus: (You take 2 damage)
LooneyGM: (*headdesks*)

That's all for this week folks. Next time around I'll break out the stuff from my current campaigns.

Looney away!