Crashing the campaign blog with quotes

Wednesdays are my favorite blog post days. Because all the humor is prepackaged and ready to go. I merely have to transcribe it and hone the grammar to a fine comedic precision. Thus I give you a refined comedic masterpiece each wednesday for your perusal and spectacular amusement. Or a bunch of fart jokes. Whichever happens first.

DM: How do you know it's a he?

Looney: It doesn't have boobs.

Goldielocks: I checked it out.

Cecilia: My ears can't hear that sort of potty language. They're not a toilet.

DM: Well flibberty gibbet to you.

Goldielocks: My hair can't be cut by normal blades.

Cecilia: I can always count on you to make the conversation stupider.

Goldielocks (writing on character sheet): Prayer beads for hair.

Cecilia (after another crappy initiative roll): That's it! Next feat I'm taking is danger sense so I can roll twice for initiative.

Looney: That'll let you roll two 2's instead of one.

DM: The staff does electric damage.

Cecilia: Does it require batteries?

Goldielocks: I've got my hat of +INT on so I'll be extra witty today.

Goldielocks: I know you're around our level because we saw you.

DM: It's a conch of summoning. Allies within one mile know your exact location and status effects.

Attapacca: It's a GPS conch!

DM: The battle rages!

Vimac and Goldielocks: * machine gun and hand grenade noises *

Goldielocks: The trap was two tesla coils on a train.

DM: Two testicles?

Goldielocks: My hair will shield us all!

Vimac(Upon examining Goldielocks dice collection and finding pink dice): You have hello kitty dice too, don't you?

Goldielocks: This hat gives me +1 to attack rolls.

LooneyDM out