Quote Wednesday 2

Every now and again I ask myself "Why am I doing this?" "Why do I keep creating worlds and encounters and stories and all of it?". Then my players do or say something completely unexpected and I stop asking questions. At least those questions. Then I start asking "Why did I let them have that item?" "Are they going to blow through my meticulously crafted encounter in 2 rounds?" "Why did I let them adopt the ninja squirrel?" On to the quotes!

* Mallexantus extends chains from Heikon to kill the last visible living one.

Onotole: (( Funny because it's in Onotole's mouth right now. ))

Onotole: "Mmph mumble mumble pthbbt."

Mallexantus: (( consider it dental floss. 35ft long, jagged, barbed metal dental floss. ))

Mallexantus: "There are few problems in life that can't be solved with two chains, on fire, flung with all yor might at the enemy."

Onotole: "Such as getting out of a Wizard's tower."

* Mallexantus bristles slightly, but doesn't have a witty rejoinder for that.

Onotole: (( Channeling a swift kick in the shins. ))

Mallexantus: (( Lillend, no feet. ))

Onotole: (( air elementals have shins? ))

Mallexantus: (( so we're attacking them in a body part they don't have with a body part we don't have? ))

Xochitl holds up a WAND.

Moastuo: "Ooooo, a stick!"

* Mallexantus holds aloft a short metallic rod capped on both ends with blue stones just seconds before losing interest in the task.

Moastuo: "Make that TWO sticks!"

Mallexantus: "Okay then. What is it?"

Helena: (( magic vibrator ))

Helena occasionally spectates this game.

Xochitl: "Ooo."

Helena: (( stick of Ooo. ))

* Xochitl whacks herself with the Ooo stick.

Xochitl: "This way if you annoy me, I can hit you and not betray my alignment."

Mallexantus: "Just so long as you're taking pleasure from hitting people out of spite."

Soban (Hybrid Form): "Awesome, we can hit people to heal them. Can we continue on now?"

Mallexantus: (( so, come in peace or shoot to kill? ))

Moastuo: (( yes ))

Heikon: (( Sorry for the delay. A friend wanted me to teach him how to write lesbian erotica. ))

LooneyDM: (( WHAT? ))

It all went downhill from there.

LooneyDM: (( you'll like what's coming a little further down ))

Onotole: (( Is it cookies ))

LooneyDM: (( not quite ))

Onotole: (( Oh crap cookie golems ))

Mallexantus: (( Dough elementals? ))

Helena: (( brownies? *giggle ))

LooneyDM: (( nope ghost can't smeen ))

LooneyDM: (( smell ))

Helena: (( GHOST NOT SMEEN ))

Mallexantus: (( no-one can smeen. ))

* Onotole can smeen.

Helena: (( I have Improved Smeening ))

Mallexantus: (( that was close, and close is good. ))

Moastuo: (( whaddya mean close, I only took three damage? ))

Soban (Hybrid Form): (( Hey Moastuo, you want to trade Damage? ))

Soban took ~90 damage that fight

Mallexantus: (( wasn't sure if the hail mary flank and fireball would work or leave Mal gangtentacled. ))

Moastuo: (( magic stones of breast enhancement. ))

Moastuo: (( tape them to your chest, BAM, larger breasts ))

LooneyDM whisper to Xochitl: give me a will save

LooneyDM whisper to Mallexantus: give me a will save

Xochitl: « 1d20+6 = 3 + 6 = 9 »

Mallexantus: « 1d20+6 = 3 + 6 = 9 »

Mallexantus: (( jinx? ))

Moastuo: (( and thus our healer and reachmonkey were dominated by forces unknown. ))

Onotole: " Great, the boob-stones have taken over their minds."

Xochitl: « 1d20+1 = 10 + 1 = 11 »

Xochitl: ((I AM SO STEALTHY))

Scoring the only player crit of the evening, Moastuo shoots Heikon

Heikon: "... My canopy!"

LooneyDM: Moastuo imbeds an arrow in heikon

Moastuo: "Quit covering the thing with it, then!"

LooneyDM out