Quotes! (or you should expect this by now)

Everyone loves a lazy quote post. Unless you're some sort of curmugdeon who hates quotes. If you were that sort of horrid person you wouldn't be here reading my blog anyways. Enjoy!

Vimac and Goldielocks start singing

Attapacca: My plan is working, soon I'll have a full acapella group.

Looney: Cecilia won't join, she'll be headdesking.

Attapacca: She's our percussion.

Goldielocks (reading the base of his figure): Human male. Wait, he's human?

Looney: Wait, he's male?

Goldielocks: I challenge him to fisticuffs... with an axe.

Looney: Assticuffs?

Attapacca: Axeticuffs.

Goldielocks: Assticuffs requires privacy.

Attapacca (dragonborn bard): I'll go free the prisoners because I'm the least scary.

Goldielocks: The bugbear has a heart on his chest.

DM: He's the love bugbear.

DM: I've heard of sea horses but this is ridiculous.

Vimac: They're phantom steeds so they don't make a lot of noise when they're walking on water.

Goldielocks: So if they were flying they'd be walking on sunshine.

Attapacca: He's trying to math. It's hard.

Looney: I throw my returning greataxe.

Attapacca: And duck when it comes back.

Vimac: What part of "I kick the door in" don't you understand.

Attapacca: *rolls a 3* I'll use my action point. *rolls a 1*

Goldielocks: Action point well spent.

Later

Goldielocks: *rolls a 2* action point! *rolls a 2*

Looney: I'm using astral flare.

Goldielocks: Flare their astrals

Attapacca (after descending from the crow's nest of a ship): I'm down.

Vimac: Finally.

Attapacca: I'll have a majestic word for you!

DM: Tirah

Goldielocks: I'm going to tear up too.

Looney: He's a Kyton. He's covered in chains.

Attapacca: It's Bob Marley.

DM: Get a bugbear crew.

Goldielocks: I'll name them all Chewy.

DM: It gets distracted by a herd of elephants.

Looney: Underwater elephants?

DM: It's D&D

Goldielocks: They're Welephants.

Goldielocks: Look! Herpes! I mean harpies...

Vimac: I traded out my minotaur hat for a cowboy hat.

Goldielocks: I have tidings of bananas and unflung poo.

Vimac: I have a black belt in unflung poo.

DM: Do you have any fruits?

Tirah: Besides goldielocks?

Vimac: He's not a fruit, he's a vegetable.

LooneyDM out