Friday, March 18, 2011

Plagiarism

If you're going to steal, steal from the best. Twist it just right and your players won't notice they're playing through a classic tale. Or they might and figure out all the twists ahead of time. Either way many players are as crazy as Don Quixote.

Art found on stumbleupon (sadly don't remember exact artist)

Quotes:

Floret: (Sweet! 16)
Floret: (...Sweet 16)
Floret: (This means I get cake, right?)
Hawkeye: (delicious cake)
Sergio: (hooray for cake!)
Sergio (*bakes a cake*)
LooneyGM: (cake? certainly)
Hawkeye (it's got papa hawkeye's special spices in it)
LooneyGM: (a cake full of SNEAK ATTACK!)
Floret: (AUGH!)
Sergio: (so instead of a stripper jumping out, it's a rogue?)

Floret (I'm not sure how useful a poison rock would be)

LooneyGM: (You'll find out...)
Sergio: (DUN DUN DUUUUUUN)

Hawkeye: "Hey, Serge, how do you swing?"
Sergio: "well you sort of pump your legs back and forth"
Floret: "...What?"
Sergio: "and move your body weight so you go back and forth"

Hawkeye "I'M SETTING IT ON FIRE UNLESS YOU FUCKERS OPEN IT, ALREADY!"

LooneyGM: "Why do you want him?"
Hawkeye: (BECAUSE HE IMPREGNATED MY DAUGHTER)
Lyril: (Because he is a sexy, sexy beast that left my bedchamber without a second word.)

Floret: (I am the least sneakiest spy ever. Aw man.)

Lyril: (You're going to offer him your buns, aren't you?)
Sergio: (yes. yes I am.)

Lyril: ( I assumed he'd follow. What else can he do? )
Hawkeye (Well, I guess you can carry him)
Thallid (use the fat to float)
Hawkeye (FLOATON TORPEDOES)

LooneyGM: Floret sees the Ilwuz attackers run around to look for the reason for the cannon failure but she is high and dry by that time
Floret (Well, wet more than dry)

Sergio: (Hawkeye in the blessed virgin?)
Hawkeye: (There's some irony here, y'know)
Sergio: (any tavern he goes into is unvirginized instantly)

dicechan --> "Floret rolls 2#d6 +6 Bodyguard Spider and gets 6, 6."
Floret (I have never rolled this well in my life. I'm scared.)
Sergio grumbles and finishes his milk
Sergio: "okay we can go upstairs"
LooneyGM: (aww they interrupted Sergio's cookie time)
Sergio: (cookie time is important!)
Floret: (Nothing can stop cookie time!)

New character introduced from same place as Sergio
Hawkeye: "How the hell did he get fat, and you didn't?!"
Hawkeye: "This is bloody bullshit, this is, you eat more than the rest of us put together!"
Sergio: "Well I'm also a blacksmith."
Hawkeye: "OH, yes, I've NEVER seen a fat blacksmith before..."

LooneyGM: She has the glazed over eyes of one under the effects of the merhorse. "The Mist Reaper shall return."
Hawkeye seems to have a genuinely jovial manner about him.
Hawkeye stands, stunned.
Floret: (That's the scary legendary pirate, right? Whose treasure we're hunting?)
LooneyGM: (Yes)
LooneyGM: The woman says no more and returns to her table.
Floret: (I've got this licked. I already know what we need to do.)
Floret: (Whatever ship we get, we name it the Mist Reaper)
Floret: (Prophecy circumvented!)

Sergio "I have another cookie here. Or would you prefer a scone? I think I have a scone..."
LooneyGM: (Sergio is going to give everyone diabetes)
Thallid: (except my guy which already has it)
Sergio: (I just want to spread happiness via baked goods!)

Thallid: (Thallid is at least 5 people)

Floret: (Let's just go find some kind of wooden structure with 'boat' written on the side and steal it)
LooneyGM: (Floret: I'm going to make the next inn you go to have the word "boat" in the title so you steal it and sail off in it)
Floret: (I'll do it)
Floret: (I'm THAT good of a sky sailor)

Sergio: (I already failed my perception check because I was like WHY IS EVERYONE ROLLING)

Floret: "There's some nasty pirate wandering around, certainly. No need to believe it's a legend or anything. We can probably avoid whoever it is."
Lyril: ( And, with that, Floret cursed the group and made the GM cackle with glee. )
Floret: (Hey, just because Floret has misplaced confidence doesn't mean I as a player do)
Floret: (Floret just figures, 'Well we're already dodging ONE crazy evil guy who wants us dead, what's another? Hell, they're probably the same guy')

LooneyDM out

1 comment:

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