Hell

Your true friends are the ones who will follow wherever your quest leads. Even if it takes you into the depths of the underworld. Or you know they're truly over the edge of lunacy. Speaking of being over the edge of lunacy it's been a while since there were quotes. Have some quotes. I'm too lazy to give races and classes so figure it out by going back in the archives if you really want to know.

Haruhi: "Right, no hitting on the demon, guys"
Boddywyn: "Says the psychotic cat..."

guardian: "You leave a trail of blood behind you?"
Haruhi: "Only if my sandwich isn't totally cooked"
I'kishaeila: "It's a terrible medical condition."
Boddywyn: "More often than I'd like" *mutters*
Pliny: "It's a very managably amount of blood."

Pliny: (( ...Action-NAP ))

I'kishaeila: (( and for my minor, I grumble. ))

Haruhi: (( we did all the roleplaying stuff ))
Haruhi: (( it's important to do that so you know who you're supposed to be killing ))

LooneyGM as fiend: "I shall escort you back to the shaft."
Haruhi: (( hurr hurr hurr you said shaft ))

Haruhi: "Iki you owe me a cake"
I'kishaeila: "So I do. I should suggest you be terrified. If Varna is still standing, it won't be when I finish this cake."

Pliny: (( VAMPIRE GAME ))
Pliny: (( We brought stakes, right? Or! We can stake him with one of our wands! ))

I'kishaeila: "Fire will chase the bugs out nd takes care of the people infesting the city."
Haruhi: "But if we burn the whole city how am I going to get my cake?"

Haruhi: (( oh you are SO going to get my furious counterstrike right in your teeth ))
Haruhi: (( hang on tea ))
LooneyGM: (( furious counterstrike waits for no man, but it does wait for tea ))

Art from GIS for sulfur mining
LooneyDM out

High Magic Settings

I enjoy high magic settings. It's fun to consider the implications of magic. While you could end up with a world that looks a lot like our high technology world that's no fun at all. After all baby dragons powering ovens could lead to all sorts of ethical and logistical difficulties. Depending on what sort of magic is easiest to conjure the tone of the setting changes drastically. After all if necromancy is non-evil and reliable the world is different than if illusions are the only magic that is easy enough to be worth the effort. This of course explains why I find Eberron so intriguing. Hooray for magitek settings!


Quotes from real life game:

Barden "Bones" : I don't have swirly purple dice. I have dice envy.

Thalia (to minotaur druid): We have to keep you away from china shops.

DM: The staircase descends into darkness.

All: dun Dun DUN!

Bones: It's not delivery it's Dzoran (Dzoran, my halfling sorcerer. I hate naming characters)

Curd(Minotaur Druid): I got these licked.

Gareth: Salt licked.

Dzoran: Everyone's shooting lightning out their ass today.

Curd: And it burns.

DM: Elf and halfing pudding. The halfing pudding is the light stuff.

Curd: Half the calories.

Gareth(to minotaur druid): Don't worry, if you die we'll honor you with a barbecue

Thalia(goliath warden): Are they human like me?

Bones (Dwarf Cleric): Who's the leader of this party?

Looney: I thought you were.

Crud: In all my D&D groups I've never seen a PTK.

Gareth: TPK?

Tor: 19+20...

Gareth: That's his once a week power.

DM: They both go down.

Looney(halfling sorcerer): I do a little dance, and I do mean little.

Bones: You can't do anything more.

DM: This is the most powerful holy symbol you've found.

Looney: This is the only holy symbol we've found.

Thalia: That's not a rat.

Tor: It's a flaming rat.

Thalia & Bones: Oh hay!

DM: The room is full of rats.

Bones: Oh rats.

Bones: I attack the wat.

Bones: My warhammer needs a name.

Looney: Thelma

Thalia: Buffy

Curd: Piffer

Bones: I shall name it Squishy.

Curd(Minotaur druid): I'm going to shift back.

DM: Chicken.

Curd: No, beef.

DM: You see some sort of blobby things.

Curd: Who's in the mood for jello?

Curd: 10 points of damage.

DM: To?

Curd: 10 points of damage.

DM: To?

Curd: Does it have 8 resist?

DM: Which one are you attacking?

Thalia: Feed the halfing to it.

Looney(Halfing): Halfings are not good eats

Bones: They're like an appetizer.

Tor: Hot Wings

Looney: Halfings are not Cajun either.

Bones: It wobbles at us menacingly.

Bones: Is the fungus edible.

Thalia: Yes, but you'll be seeing pink elephants.

Bones: It's for medicinal purposes.

Gareth: Sure, medicinal. It's for your "glacoma"

Thalia: We'll dress the halfling as a singing telegram.

Looney: I'm a halfling, not an oompa loompa.

Thalia: A little orange paint will fix that.

LooneyDM out

Campaign Ends

Every campaign must come to an end. How they end can be up to the DM, or sometimes up to the players. Greek game is ending, though not with the Eiffel tower sinking into a swamp. It was almost a "BBEG shot dead in the middle of his monologue". The BBEG didn't monologue but he did almost drop in the first round. Thank goodness for savage worlds bennies and good vigor rolls. On the other hand it would have been really amusing to have him go down in the first shot. That's just how my sense of humor rolls. It also would make for a great story after the fact. After all which is more amusing in the telling "They had an epic battle and pulled through by the skin of their teeth" or "They one shot the BBEG right off the bat, first attack, no survivors". Personally I'd go with the latter.

Art from here

Last Quotes from Greek game:

Aeton: (( Was difficult to find you guys. I must have been wandering around bricks for hours. ))

Andreas: my toughness is 9

Andreas: (( that was ooc ))

Mnemosyne: (( What, Andreas didn't shout 'My Toughness is Niiiiiiiine!" to the heavens? ))

Andreas: (( No. he would shoud "My Toughness is OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAND!" ))

LooneyGM: (( everything explodes ))

Mnemosyne: (( Everything explodes? Well I guess that ends the fight! ))

Lykaios: (( trying to figure out what is more stunning, your looks or your arrows ))

Mnemosyne: (( I think you just crushed it into a tin can ))

Andreas: (( I shall fill it with hummus ))

Andreas: (( for a party in my honor ))

Mnemosyne: (( I'll bring some pitas to go with ))

Lykaios: (( i'll bring the squirrel ))

Andreas: (( you are not invited to Andreas's party ))

Andreas: (( he doesn't want everyone to get food poisoning ))

Lykaios: (( but you look a lot better in comparison besides me. It's the wingman affect ))

Andreas: (( the son of Zeus does not need a wingman! ))

Lykaios: (( then he'll be the dreaded cock block! ))

* Andreas rolls: d8+d6+d6 => 5 + 1 + 2 = 8

Andreas: (( aw. lemme reroll that 1 ))

* Andreas rolls: d6 => 2

Andreas: (( ...yay ))

LooneyGM: (( so 9? ))

Andreas: (( yes ))

VortGM: (( this will not be enough, do you wish to benny again ))

Andreas: (( um. sure. ))

* Andreas rolls: d6 => 2

Andreas: (( whatever I'm done, Zeus has forsaken me ))

LooneyDM out

Quest

How many times has this happened in fantasy? Kid finds magical book, castle, wand, you name it and then ends up spending the rest of their childhood trying to fix the problems that their initial interaction with it caused. Aren't you glad you didn't have those sorts of magical adventures now? Okay probably not. I don't know of anyone who didn't dislike at least parts of elementary school. Of course if it had been elemental school instead that would have been an entirely different matter. Though you really shouldn't be teaching kids that sort of stuff.

Art from here

Quotes:

Haruhi: "He had me at stocked with provision"

LooneyDM (( No, Dalin Vadalis is not Mr. T ))

I'kishaeila: (( Thelema is like a Pat. ))

I'kishaeila: (( it's just not clear and it's awkward when speaking to it ))

Haruhi: (( or like a Haruhi! ))

Pliny: (( Actually, let's skip the whole adventure and get right to the cake baking ))

LooneyGM: Last session our monsters waded into a few piles of ochre jelly, whcih quickly became many many piles of ochre jelly

Iki: (( we made jelly sammiches. ))

LooneyGM: (( it's actually 2200 gp because you're a large creature. ))

Haruhi: (( he's saying you're fat ))

Iki: (( I have lol hp left. ))

Haruhi: (( I feel like I should have haruhi sleeping on all these papers ))

Haruhi: (( soooo unleash horde of fiends upon the earth ))

Haruhi: (( or stay stuck here with Tellas ))

* Haruhi is in favor of freeng everyone

Iki: Great... so now we have a swarm of aggrivated kitten beasts below. Anyone have a ball of yarn...?

Pliny: (( ...Can we adopt them? ))

LooneyGM: (( no you may not adopt the khyberspawn ))

Haruhi: (( I think they are on fire, and making them MORE on fire is probably not going to do anything ))

Haruhi: "We're never alone, we have each other!"

LooneyGM: (( d'aww, power of friendship go! ))

Haruhi: "I kill it you grill it! And put it into a sandwich for me!"

Haruhi: (( power of hanging around people who have hands for making food ))

Pliny: (( I can not fly. ))

Haruhi: (( you can if we throw you hard enough ))

LooneyGM: (( guess what happens now! ))

Boddywyn: (( more fire? ))

Iki: (( fire? ))

Haruhi: (( cake falls from the sky! ))

LooneyDM out

Epic Pyromancer

You know there's heroes that just want to watch the world burn. In many cases this is a figurative burning. In others it is a literal burning. Of course if the player wants to take it this far you may have to retire the character to BBEG status.

Quotes from Greek Game:

Arlo: (( we are from Chicago, this is Cleveland, now we're going to Atlanta, and Andreas is from Boise, Idaho ))

Arlo: (( we are going from cleveland to atlanta through the candy mountains ))

Andreas: (( and yes I totally just invented the word "scruffians" ))

Mnemosyne: (( Mystery rock wall? Clearly it's naptime! ))

Lykaios : (( do they speak? ))

Mnemosyne: (( One just hit on Andreas ))

harpy 2: "It wouldn't make a difference if you spent the afternoon with us instead of chasing after him."

Andreas: (( ummm ))

Andreas: (( I am not sure what to say now ))

Andreas: (( I need an adult! ))

Mnemosyne: (( Is it... a Roc?! I dunno if we can beat one of those ))

Lykaios: (( more hippies ))

Lykaios: (( herpies ))

Lykaios: (( harpies ))

Andreas: (( I'm never going to get to kill anything ;_; ))

Mnemosyne: (( I didn't mean to explode the bird! It's not my fault I'm awesome ))

Andreas: "It's not that I don't appreciate the attention, but we just don't have time for all those harpies to fawn over me"

warrior: "I will lead on, but follow closely. I'd rather not get thrown off the mountain."

Lykaios: (( better him then us ))

Aeton: (( You're all heart, Lykaios. ))

* Telly rolls: d6 => 6

* Telly rolls: d6 => 5

Andreas: (( HA ))

Andreas: (( my notice roll goes to eleven. dohoho ))

* Lykaios takes out his short sword and cuts off Ormorg's tounge, Slips that bad boy in his pocket

* Aeton decides to ignore that slip of the tongue

Andreas: (( but this is a character quirk that I have so I get more edges or something ))

Andreas: (( also, ROLEPLAYING ))

Mnemosyne: (( Nice city you got here. Sure would be a shame if someone... SET IT ONE FIRE ))

Mnemosyne: (( ON fire. ))

Aeton: (( I see your two fire and raise you one. ))

Andreas: (( I think "amuses the DM" translates to "doom for the characters" ))

LooneyGM: (( doesn't it always, Telly? ))

Andreas: (( yes. ))

Mnemosyne: (( How about this: "Aphrodite, we require a Golden Apple in our quest, but have not your Heaveny Beauty by which to win one. Pls advise" ))

* Lykaios hugs Andreas

* Lykaios smiles as a string of snot goes from his waist from his nose

Andreas: "I realize I am totally amazing, but you are not allowed to hug me unless you are sterilized"

Andreas: "Preferably by lava."

Art from here

LooneyDM out

Demon Parents

I know that this isn't what's going on in this picture, but darn if it doesn't look like the demon is chewing out the tiefling like the tiefling is his kid. "No more helping old ladies across the street or you're grounded from the torture chamber for a month!"

Quotes from saturday game:

Rundalmar: WHAT EVIL DEBAUCHERY IS THIS!

Boddywyn: It's me you brainless cow!

Boddywyn: (( toby is my mule now, hur hur ))

Pliny: (( I'm fully healed. Let's go kill stuff! ))

Iki: (( wait, I'm suppose to say let's go kill stuff XD ))

Haruhi: (( dammit iki stop being so bloodthirsty! ))

Haruhi: (( and I know that's like saying "dammit sun stop being so bright" ))

Toby: "I sure hope she enjoyed her finely shredded meat sandwich."

LooneyGM: (( ground dolgrim? ))

Rundalmar: (( its a delicacy in 3rd world countries ))

Crow of the Foothills: "It is the hunters. We must either flee now or prepare to fight."

Boddywyn: feeling sounds like a good idea

* Iki rolls: d20+12 mountain hammah on dolgaunt2 => 20 + 12 = 32

Toby: (( YES ))

LooneyGM: (( that's a crit, roll to confirm ))

* Iki rolls: d20+12 crit => 4 + 12 = 16

Toby: (( FUCK ))

Iki: (( screaming fuck around tentacle monsters seems... wrong. ))

* Rundalmar rolls: d20+1 clomp clomp clomp => 1 + 1 = 2 (move silently roll)

Toby: "Rundy, what the fuck are you doing?"

Iki: (( riverdancing! ))

Toby: "Are you fucking tap dancing back there?!"

Toby: "Dammit, he's doing the Charleston."

* Rundalmar is doing a bad immitation of michael jacksons "beat it"

Toby: "Rundy, give us your loincloth."

Rundalmar: ......

Toby: "It's for a surrender flag, dammit!"

Rundalmar: "NOT going to happen."

guard: "Who are you creatures? And what are you doing on the battlefield?"

Iki: (( would you like to support the girl scounts of D&D and buy some cookies? ))

Pliny: (( I have no idea. What's a diplomatic way to say I have no idea? ))

Toby: (( reproduction via mullet propagation ))

Rundalmar: (( beware the fertility mullet! ))

Iki: (( is that Mr T at the head of the table? ))

Meeting Dalin d'Vadalis

Pliny: (( And like all cats, Haru proceeds to sleep for the next 20 hours ))

Haruhi: "we should have come here first guys. we could have been eating the WHOLE TIME"

Iki: (( Toby wants to smell his best going into battle! ))

Pliny: (( Tell them I died bravely instead of just stupidly! ))

LooneyDM out

Hiding in Plain Sight

Your BBEG has failed at hiding in plain sight. I mean really. He couldn't have kept it under wraps for just a few more sessions while his plans matured? I guess evil just gets the better of you eventually and you have to let it all out.

Art from failblog

LooneyDM out

Cthulhu in Power Armor

There are days when your shenanigans cause the GM to throw their hands up in disgust. And then you get Cthulhu in power armor. Rocks fall, everyone dies is so last decade.

Art from here

Quotes from rebooted Greek Myth game

Andreas: (( your man isn't Andreas, but he could smell like Andreas ))

Eunike: "We'll BEETle them to a pulp!"

LooneyGM: Eunike live up to her name and victoriously flies out of the fireball, the wind under her winds

Eunike: (bounces off my iron hard feathers!)

Andreas: (( propelled by farting to make your own jet-powered owl ))

Eunike: (stupid beans)

Eunike: (but guess who's downwind of me!)

Andreas: (( NUUUUUUUU ))

Andreas: (( KOFF KOFF ))

Andreas: (( are there bones in owl farts? ))

Andreas: (( shall I sing the walking song? ))

Andreas: (( walk walk walk walk walk! ))

Mnemosyne: (( Someone needs to sing the walking song! ))

LooneyGM: (( all of you with magic, faith or power points recover all of them ))

Andreas: (( and I recover my awesome points. oh wait, I never run out of those! ))

Arlo: (( GANG BANG BONUSES ))

Andreas: (( he died as he lived - with a half-eaten, uncooked rabbit in his hand ))

LooneyGM: The bug cowers

Lykaios: (( i thought it said "the bug cows" ))

LooneyGM: Mnemosyne kills the first bug so hard it kills a second one

* Mnemosyne is totally serene and composed about the AWESOME she just accomplished

LooneyGM: (( Mnemosyne turns around to face away from the explosion? ))

Andreas: (( in slow motion ))

* Mnemosyne does the slow walk away

Andreas: (( you know it is kind of funny how the little daughter of aphrodite is kicking ten times as much ass as the mighty son of zeus ))

LooneyGM: (( well she has help ))

Andreas: (( I think this is probably killing Andreas on the inside ))

Mnemosyne: (( Power of Love, bitches ))

* Arlo is curled up on the ground, snoring.

Mnemosyne: (( In the burning city. ))

Arlo: (( You're about to face your first Wild Card. ))

Arlo: (( Your cleric is out of juice. ))

Arlo: (( You've got full bennies ))

Arlo: (( Going for it? It would be in-character to do so. ))

Andreas: (( pshaw, nothing can defeat my character! ))

Andreas: (( OR SO HE THINKS ))

Arlo: (( I dunno about injury tallies, either ))

Mnemosyne: (( My character's major flaw is overconfidence ))

Andreas: (( mine is arrogance ))

Mnemosyne: (( I will charge into anything ))

Andreas: (( sooooo we're totally going for it ))

Mnemosyne: (( ... Somebody is vigorous. What, did he drink three red bulls before the fight? ))

Arlo: (( I use my action to try and find the bathroom in this shithole! ))

Mnemosyne: (( If it's a shithole, do you need a specific place to go to the bathroom? I mean, really. ))

Aeton: (( It's an old man! Kill it before it can speak! ))

LooneyDM out

Plagiarism

If you're going to steal, steal from the best. Twist it just right and your players won't notice they're playing through a classic tale. Or they might and figure out all the twists ahead of time. Either way many players are as crazy as Don Quixote.

Art found on stumbleupon (sadly don't remember exact artist)

Quotes:

Floret: (Sweet! 16)

Floret: (...Sweet 16)

Floret: (This means I get cake, right?)

Hawkeye: (delicious cake)

Sergio: (hooray for cake!)

Sergio (*bakes a cake*)

LooneyGM: (cake? certainly)

Hawkeye (it's got papa hawkeye's special spices in it)

LooneyGM: (a cake full of SNEAK ATTACK!)

Floret: (AUGH!)

Sergio: (so instead of a stripper jumping out, it's a rogue?)

Floret (I'm not sure how useful a poison rock would be)

LooneyGM: (You'll find out...)

Sergio: (DUN DUN DUUUUUUN)

Hawkeye: "Hey, Serge, how do you swing?"

Sergio: "well you sort of pump your legs back and forth"

Floret: "...What?"

Sergio: "and move your body weight so you go back and forth"

Hawkeye "I'M SETTING IT ON FIRE UNLESS YOU FUCKERS OPEN IT, ALREADY!"

LooneyGM: "Why do you want him?"

Hawkeye: (BECAUSE HE IMPREGNATED MY DAUGHTER)

Lyril: (Because he is a sexy, sexy beast that left my bedchamber without a second word.)

Floret: (I am the least sneakiest spy ever. Aw man.)

Lyril: (You're going to offer him your buns, aren't you?)

Sergio: (yes. yes I am.)

Lyril: ( I assumed he'd follow. What else can he do? )

Hawkeye (Well, I guess you can carry him)

Thallid (use the fat to float)

Hawkeye (FLOATON TORPEDOES)

LooneyGM: Floret sees the Ilwuz attackers run around to look for the reason for the cannon failure but she is high and dry by that time

Floret (Well, wet more than dry)

Sergio: (Hawkeye in the blessed virgin?)

Hawkeye: (There's some irony here, y'know)

Sergio: (any tavern he goes into is unvirginized instantly)

dicechan --> "Floret rolls 2#d6 +6 Bodyguard Spider and gets 6, 6."

Floret (I have never rolled this well in my life. I'm scared.)

Sergio grumbles and finishes his milk

Sergio: "okay we can go upstairs"

LooneyGM: (aww they interrupted Sergio's cookie time)

Sergio: (cookie time is important!)

Floret: (Nothing can stop cookie time!)

New character introduced from same place as Sergio

Hawkeye: "How the hell did he get fat, and you didn't?!"

Hawkeye: "This is bloody bullshit, this is, you eat more than the rest of us put together!"

Sergio: "Well I'm also a blacksmith."

Hawkeye: "OH, yes, I've NEVER seen a fat blacksmith before..."

LooneyGM: She has the glazed over eyes of one under the effects of the merhorse. "The Mist Reaper shall return."

Hawkeye seems to have a genuinely jovial manner about him.

Hawkeye stands, stunned.

Floret: (That's the scary legendary pirate, right? Whose treasure we're hunting?)

LooneyGM: (Yes)

LooneyGM: The woman says no more and returns to her table.

Floret: (I've got this licked. I already know what we need to do.)

Floret: (Whatever ship we get, we name it the Mist Reaper)

Floret: (Prophecy circumvented!)

Sergio "I have another cookie here. Or would you prefer a scone? I think I have a scone..."

LooneyGM: (Sergio is going to give everyone diabetes)

Thallid: (except my guy which already has it)

Sergio: (I just want to spread happiness via baked goods!)

Thallid: (Thallid is at least 5 people)

Floret: (Let's just go find some kind of wooden structure with 'boat' written on the side and steal it)

LooneyGM: (Floret: I'm going to make the next inn you go to have the word "boat" in the title so you steal it and sail off in it)

Floret: (I'll do it)

Floret: (I'm THAT good of a sky sailor)

Sergio: (I already failed my perception check because I was like WHY IS EVERYONE ROLLING)

Floret: "There's some nasty pirate wandering around, certainly. No need to believe it's a legend or anything. We can probably avoid whoever it is."

Lyril: ( And, with that, Floret cursed the group and made the GM cackle with glee. )

Floret: (Hey, just because Floret has misplaced confidence doesn't mean I as a player do)

Floret: (Floret just figures, 'Well we're already dodging ONE crazy evil guy who wants us dead, what's another? Hell, they're probably the same guy')

LooneyDM out

PC Romances

I've not had any overly romantic encounters in games I've run yet. There's been some flirting, but no out and out sexy. I'm not sure if this is a good or a bad thing. Either way I'll burn that bridge when I come to it.

Art from here

LooneyDM out

Quotes from Sky Piratey game:

Lyril ( Going to heal Kefin there. )

Kefin (*GIGANTIC RELIEF SIGH*)

Hawkeye (Lyril is PARTY CLERK)

Hawkeye "Might want to tell 'em to come back, she's gonna blow."

Hawkeye sounds hilariously passe about all this

Sergio (yeah Hawkeye is practically off having a rollup XD )

Floret (Hmm... the guy I hit before... I am going to try to violently knock him unconscious for later interrogation! With the hilt of my awesome sword, of course)

LooneyGM (pommel away)

Hawkeye (also he should get +2 for SEXY BOD-AY)

Floret (Oh man, Sergio should have that as a... as a forte or foible)

Hawkeye (we'll call that the Fabio bonus)

Floret ('Loses shirt at every given opportunity')

Floret (This is the longest, bloodiest, most dramatic lifeboat trip ever)

Sergio (treasure! is it the fabled Golden Bearclaw?)

Hawkeye (no, it's the Emerald Eclair)

Sergio (THE DIAMOND MUFFIN??)

Hawkeye (The Ruby Rimoulade)

Sergio (platinum popover?)

LooneyGM: They rummage through the hold, one of them thinks he sees a movement under a tarp. At the last moment a rat pops out from under the edge and scurries off.

Sergio: (OMG KEFIN YOU'RE PREGNANT! WITH RATS!)

Floret: (The loyal rat has given himself up to save you!)

Floret: (Yeah, you guys can go forward without me. Hopefully. You can, can't you?)

Floret: (You're not allowed to kill me and use my corpse as a sled while I'm away)

Floret: (Not even if it snows!)

LooneyGM: It's your old friend...

LooneyGM: (I don't seem to recall his name, remind me of it will you)

Kefin: (... crack cocaine?)

Sergio throws salt in Luccal's eyes

LooneyGM: "gah!"

Sergio: "Open the door and I'll give you a wound to go with that salt!"

Kefin: (all 3 attack)

LooneyGM: (keep that up and someone's going to hit you)

Kefin: (*shrug* I figure, but this is the last guy)

LooneyGM: (there's three left)

Sergio: (uh oh!)

Sergio: (*laughtrack*)

Kefin: (I'm already down)

Lyril: ( . . . with the sickness?)

Floret: (But in the future there WILL be jumping off of things, I promise!)

Floret: "I broke some contracts, people back home tend to take that seriously."

Sergio: "can't you just send them a muffin basket?"

Floret: "Sergio, if I were to send them a muffin basket the only real change would be that they would enjoy delicious muffins as they haul my ass in."

Floret: Between the acupuncture needles and Hawkeye's reaction, Floret is a little freaked out

Sergio: "here Hawkeye, have a donut"

Sergio offers donut

LooneyGM: (And now floret is really freaked out. After all who carries a donut in their pocket and how did it survive the chase without being smashed)

Floret: (Floret will gamely ignore the magic donut for the sake of THIS)

Floret: When it becomes clear that Hawk is ignoring the donut, Floret intercepts it and eats it

Sergio: (hey man)

Sergio: (cargo pants)

Sergio: (and do not mock the emergency donut!)

Lyril: (No mocking intended. Let's just glaze over this incident.)

Hawkeye: (has lyril ever spoke?)

Hawkeye: (I don't remember her speaking)

Sergio: (nope)

Floret: (...Me neither)

Sergio: (she's the strong silent type)

LooneyGM: "Good job you could all make it, but there's one little problem."

Lyril (Why is it always a "little" problem? Couldn't it be tiny? Or minuscule? Or nonexistent?)

LooneyGM: However it appeared to be not as safe as first advertised due to the presence of people in the supposedly abandoned tavern

Sergio: (solution: kill them, then there will not be people in the tavern)

Sergio: (can't I make a joke, Looney?)

LooneyGM: (Yes you can)

Sergio: (can't I make a joke without you ruining it, Looney?)

LooneyGM: (I can't promise anything)

LooneyGM: Floret does not believe the wine has been poisoned.

LooneyGM: However

Floret: (However?)

Hawkeye: (SHE DETECTS SEX JUICE)

Sergio: (hawkeye was right?)

LooneyGM: (right on which count?)

Sergio: (I think she wants to get her hands on my rolling pin!)

Hawkeye: (KNEAD DAT ASS)

Sergio: (I'll give her some cream filling!)

Sergio: (I totally just grossed myself out XD )

Floret (I choose to reroll one of those 2s))

Floret roll 1d6

dicechan --> "Floret rolls 1d6 and gets 1."

Hawkeye: (HER IMMENSE TA-TAS ARE A TREASURE MAP)

Hawkeye: (SUDDENLY)

Hawkeye: (...nothing happens)

Sergio coughs very softly

Floret: (Why would you DO that?)

Sergio: (dust)

Floret: (WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT)

Sergio: (DUST)

LooneyGM: "Wait."

LooneyGM: Laura disappears into the kitchen.

Hawkeye: ("Fuck me first")

Hawkeye: (SHE'S GETTING OUT THE CRISCO)

Lyril: (Either that or the whipped cream.)

Hawkeye (sergio is using all of his very large muscles EXCEPT THE ONE THAT MATTERS)

Motivation

Motivation is always an iffy thing. Especially when you're running a short game or a one-shot. In such situations, survival can be a wonderful motivator. That or imminent in character shinys upon completion of said one shot. My group recently ran a short 4e test drive since one of the players wanted to try it out. I acquiesced. Game was run, fun was had, and in character shinys were passed out. Next time I have a one shot in hand survival will be the name of the game.

Art from I wish I remembered.

Quotes from 4e short game

Alfhildr: (( it is very dark in the forest ))

* Otto walks around in the grass. Hopefully a safe distance from SB.

Alfhildr: (( otto is eaten by a grue ))

* Alfhildr watches Hurt wring thin air and mouths "laundry?"

Alfhildr: "I'm not doing your laundry"

Mira: (( You guys weren't kidding when you told me Dicechan was fickle. ))

Alfhildr: (( I don't think fickle is the right word ))

Alfhildr: (( I think malicious is better ))

LooneyGM: (( it's okay, everyone sucks tonight ))

Sven: (( fucker is the right word ))

Otto: (( dice kahn is sometimes dick chan. ))

Hurt: (( downright malicious is one way i'd describe dicekhan ))

LooneyGM: Another runs up and slices at Hurt

* LooneyGM rolls: 1d20+5 => 20 + 5 = 25

Pitch: (( Hurt is... gonna Hurt ))

Hurt Selot: (( im gonna dragontail that son of a bitch ))

* Hurt rolls: 1d20+7 Attack => 4 + 7 = 11

Hurt Selot: (( fuck!!!!!! ))

LooneyGM: (( no you aren't ))

LooneyGM: Pitch kills the goblin

Pitch: (( YES! ))

Pitch: (( I win everything! ))

Alfhildr: (( so now all the temp hp is gone right ))

Pitch: (( Yep. Seeing that it was not needed, the temp HP flew away to sunnier climes... ))

LooneyDM

Prestidigitation

Prestidigitation is one of the best spells in D&D, bar none. While there are other higher level spells that can do more, you just can't beat the usefulness of prestidigitation. After all, who wouldn't want green hair? You can do so much with it if you get creative. Not very useful combat wise but no other cantrip has the out of combat efficacy that prestidigitation does. The word is even an internal tongue twister.

This will be the last set of quotes from the saturday campaign that is wandering around under a mountain. They managed to defeat the BBEG, the deathknight they hated so much, a few other undead (DRAGON!), and emerged victorious. Next session is wrap up and rolling into a brief 4e game.

Atargatis: (( Please amend that six to however many characters we actually have ))

Atargatis: (( I was too lazy to count ))

Steely Dan: (( yes steely is like a ninja ))

Steely Dan: (( a loud blue and red stinky ninja ))

Steely Dan: (( IS HE DEAD ))

LooneyGM: (( VERY ))

Steely Dan: (( YAY ))

Dahmpir: (( GOOD ))

Steely Dan: (( CLEAVAGE ))

Helena: (( MY SOCKS ARE HAPPY ))

Dahmpir: (( I DONT KNOW WHY WE ARE YELLING ))

Atargatis: (( I am now in position to be ripped to shreds! ))

LooneyGM: (( hooray? ))

Atargatis: (( Hooray! ))

Clementine: (( that's what tanks are for! ))

On the Stinking Cloud spell

Steely Dan: (( so... it's... a giant fart? ))

LooneyGM: (( yes ))

Clementine: (( I hope we are not down wind. ))

Nelven: (( interesting way of putting it ))

LooneyGM: (( you may not blame it on soaring ))

Steely Dan: (( it's clearly helena's fault ))

* Helena bends over and rips one open.

Clementine: (( I has old-lady strength. ))

LooneyDM: "What do you want?"

Steely Dan: Moonshine!

Atargatis: "Peacebonded?"

Helena: (( « 1d20+20 = 16 + 20 = 36 » Lore, wtf does that mean ))

Atargatis: (( Helena draws on her vast Anime Convention lore! ))

Clementine: (( my mouth is not being bonded. ))

Steely Dan: (( THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID ))

Atargatis: (( To be fair, I'm a pretty crappy diplomat ))

Nelven: (( im the one with the high charism, lol ))

Steely Dan: (( I just put more ranks in intimidate. that's like diplomacy. ))

Nelven: (( does helena know how to smelt it? can she wihtout a forge? ))

Helena: (( I'm a living furnace ))

Helena: (( I think I'll manage ))

Nelven: (( either that or the bitches are gonna have a big square ass ))

Helena: "And COFFEE! I reeeeeally need some coffee..."

Atargatis: "Well, in leiu of coffee we've got you a nice fresh cup of the undead."

Atargatis: (( And I'm going to try to hit this jerk with Elder Mountain Hammer ))

LooneyDM: (( hammer time! ))

LooneyDM out

Thrones

Players tend to expect things. When they start expecting thrones, especially ones belonging to npcs, you need to have a sit down dragged out talk with them. If that doesn't work, convert to brawling forthwith.

Art from here

LooneyDM out

Zombies!

Zombies! They have gotten to my brains. My last stand was more of the silly type. Here's some quotes

Art from jollyjack and GIS for zombies

Gareth: I'm a sesquipedilarian

DM: The room is trashed.

Akuma: I search the room for loots.

DM: You find trash.

Tsoria: Why do I talk to him? You'd think being married to him I'd know better.

Tsoria: It's my long lost brother. Teh Jeff!

Looney: Of course when I roll twice they're both awesome.

Gareth: I'm going to throw off a twinning stance on me, myself, and...

Akume: ...Irene

DM: This is a shadow demon. It's held together by malice and hate.

Looney: It's weak against hugs and kisses.

Tsoria: I'm going to use holy smite batman.

DM: You have frosting on your lip, is that what you tell Strahd.

Tsoria: Come over here and taste my frosting big boy.

DM: The large figure shuffles towards you.

Looney: Is he doing the truffle shuffle?

Akuma: It would be better if he was doing Thriller

DM: What's your initiative?

Looney: Last.

Akuma: I'm crystal fresh (shardmind)

Teh Jeff: I'm using appalling crunch.

Gareth: That sounds like a breakfast cereal.

Gareth: That's Mr. Warlord to you. Maybe even captain.

fighting a big glass heart

Akuma: This is only the second time in his life Akuma has had to break a heart

And we switched DMs again. This time Vimac's player is DMing

Akuma became Curd, Minotaur Seeker

Tsoria and Gareth stayed the same

I became a halfling sorcerer

Attapacca became Barden "Bones" dwarven cleric

Thalia joined us. Goliath Warden

Tor joined us. Razorclaw shifter Monk

DM: He draws out Gareth.

Gareth: Pick my wife next.

Thalia: 3, 3 fatalities ah ha ha ha

Gareth: You need to mooove.

Looney: He likes to moove it, moove it

(Minotaur characters are so much fun to tease)

Curd: I'm in the mood for halfling stew.

Looney: I'd like to see you try. I'll make your hair stand on end for a week.

Tsoria: I used one healing surge.

Thalia: I used febreeze

Curd: Moo money, moo problems

Curd: Frosty the snowwoman with some very scary snow

Gareth: Lay hands on me when you get a chance.

Thalia: Kinky

Tsoria: Is that you? (Gareth)

Curd: She doesn't remember what her husband looks like.

Tsoria (after lay on hands): Was it good for you?

Looney: We're getting knocked up. (Pause) Knocked around, around!

DM: He can't see the halfing.

Looney: My lightning appears to be coming out of the lower half of the minotaur.

Tsoria: The minotaur is shooting lightning out his ass.

Curd: I had some bad taquitos last night.

DM: You take 24 damage

Thalia: I'm down

Tsoria: Does that mean I don't get flanking any more?

DM: On the goblin you find a chain shirt, a battleaxe, and a pouch.

Curd: A couch?

Gareth: Medic! Oh wait that's me.

DM: If you don't like my English...

Gareth: Don't you mean common?

DM: Agrid, the gnome. Brother to Hagrid. Agrid is a miniature half-giant.

Gareth: I distract the drakes "I have beef jerky"

DM: It's right there in front of them (referring to the minotaur)

Curd: Well I am delicious

DM: He's almost dead

Curd: I know how that feels.

(Curd has been bloodied or dying nearly every fight)

Curd: He bravely shifts away.

Looney: The defenders and leaders are forming a defensive line.

Barden "Bones" : At least it's not a chorus line.

DM: The trees are cover, the rocks are difficult terrain.

Gareth: What are the monkeys?

Curd: The monkeys are fun terrain.

Gareth: Well crud.

Curd: Yes?

LooneyDM out.

Distractions

Look! A distraction! That should keep you from realizing I haven't updated in nearly a week. Sadly I don't have a sexy lady to distract you from my dragon of lack of updates but it will have to suffice. So here's a poster and some quotes.

And now for something very much the same.

* Dahmpir rolls: d20+21 => 20 + 21 = 41

Clementine: (( nice ))

Steely Dan: (( you are totally invisible ))

Clementine: (( Myko loses sight of himself. ))

LooneyDM: (( my poor bugbear helpers ))

Helena: (( delicious HAMBURGER HELPER ))

Nelven: (( hel is really attached to her bitches ))

Helena: (( MY BABIES ))

Nelven: (( XD ))

Atargatis: (( My giant hulking animated chunks of armor! ))

Helena: (( I should rename them SexyBaby and CrazyBaby ))

Dahmpir: (( imma bite him ))

* Dahmpir rolls: d20+12 => 1 + 12 = 13

Helena: (( good god ))

Dahmpir: (( good god leoTard!! ))

Helena: (( I am sorry Dahmpir, but this bot, she don't like you ))

Atargatis: (( This bot is a cruel mistress ))

Dahmpir: (( soooo i bite....myself... ))

Atargatis: (( I see what you're going for with leotard, but you know that's an article of clothing, right? ))

* Steely Dan chops off the dead bugbear leader's head

Steely Dan: "Righ' so... this isna gonna fit in mah kilt"

Atargatis: (( You really made it far while we weren't paying attention ))

* Steely Dan sits down and plays cards with acorn while waiting

Steely Dan: (( you guys are slooooooow ))

LooneyDM: The benches and planks lift steely off the ground in a bizarre clavacade of interlocking wood. It smushes down to smaller than feegle size.

* LooneyDM rolls: 2d8+10 constrict damages => 7 + 10 = 17

Steely Dan: AUGH! AH'M BEIN' SQUISHED! AH'LL BE FEEGLE JAM!

Steely Dan: Ah think whute'er, or whoe'er it is, must wanta eat me

Steely Dan: 'cos it KEEPS HAPPENIN

Clementine: Maybe you look like a tastey morsel to the monsters?

* Steely Dan looks flatly at Clementine

Steely Dan: Do Ah look tasty t'ye?

Steely Dan: Ah mean, really.

* Steely Dan shakes his head

Clementine: I don't think you look tastey, myself.

Clementine: Maybe if we wrapped you up in bacon...

Steely Dan: :|

Atargatis: "If we find bacon we are not using it as wrapping."

Atargatis: "I am saying that right now,"

Atargatis: (( Dammit if I get bitten again because of this I blame YOU, Helena ))

Helena: (( « 1d20+19 = 1 + 19 = 20 » nature check on wuffs? ))

Helena: (( wtf ))

LooneyDM: (( brain fart ))

Helena: (( OH, they're wielding polearms, eh? ))

Helena: (( not for long >:3 ))

LooneyDM: (( you realize them loosing their polearms is what provokes them biting and infecting ))

Helena: (( :D ))

Helena: (( we should all become wuffs ))

LooneyDM: (( are you trying to turn the entire team chaotic evil? ))

Helena: (( MEBBE >_> ))

* Atargatis rolls: 1d20+17 kaboom! => 1 + 17 = 18

Steely Dan: (( hooray! ))

Steely Dan: (( I just want to be clear, my hooray was for bonecrusher, not the 1 ))

Atargatis: "Did they? I thought they were working with the Barquest before. Or whatever that guy was called."

Clementine: "Barquest? That sounds like something that would interest Steely"

Helena: (( maybe it's a dildo ))

Dahmpir: (( k thats what i was checking for ))

Steely Dan: (( what kind of thing would have a cube-shaped dildo!? ))

Helena: (( I WONDER ))

Steely Dan: (( oh ))

Steely Dan: (( gelatinous cube right ))

Nelven: (( you guys... ))

Helena: (( ;o ))

Atargatis: (( Gelatinous cube? Please tell me those things reproduce by splitting ))

Atargatis: (( I am having a difficult time typing for some reason. I predict hilarious results. ))

* Clementine gives them a rude gesture and is done.

* Steely Dan is a bad influence apparently

LooneyDM: The front two skeletons attempt to jump over Steely and Atargatis

Atargatis: (( Jumping Skeletons! ))

Atargatis: (( I equip my +2 tennis racket! ))

Atargatis: (( ALSO! ))

LooneyDM: (( also? ))

Steely Dan: (( also!? ))

Dahmpir: (( also also wik? ))

Steely Dan: (( let's see if it works this time!! ))

Clementine: (( deliciously evil! ))

Dahmpir: (( please dont miss ))

Dahmpir: (( for raests sake ))

* Steely Dan rolls: 1d20+17 => 1 + 17 = 18

Steely Dan: (( oops ))

Dahmpir: (( ....... ))

Atargatis: (( Uh oh ))

Steely Dan: (( you shouldn't talk while I'm rolling! ))

LooneyDM: (( give me a d100 roll, call high or low for hitting the leopard ))

Dahmpir: (( you shouldnt roll when im talking ))

Dahmpir: (( gutsy, since dicekhan has been in love with you all night ))

Clementine: (( I think she's been paying dice kahn with beer. ))

Steely Dan: (( I'm not giving any beer to dicekhan ))

Steely Dan: (( waste of good beer, that ))

Steely Dan: (( also look I remember those trees ))

Steely Dan: (( FUCKIN' TREEEEEEEEEES ))

* Steely Dan rolls: 1d20+15 listen => 20 + 15 = 35

Steely Dan: (( HE HEARS ALL YOUR HEARTS BEATING ))

Steely Dan: (( and also that fart you tried to do really quietly ))

Steely Dan: this movie doesn't really make sense

Clementine: ...What's a ... movie?

Steely Dan: (( THAT WAS OOC ))

Steely Dan: (( CRAP ))

Atargatis: (( What do you guys think - Pies? We can roast the seeds... we could also probably make some great pumpkin soup ))

Steely Dan: (( sure but "Oh no. He has been captured." does not sound like the little dragon cares ))

Steely Dan: (( I AM SUSPICIOUS ))

LooneyDM: (( should I have had him go OH NOES! TEH HORRORS! OUR LEADERS HAS BEEN CAPENTURED! ))

Steely Dan: (( YES YOU SHOULD HAVE ))

Steely Dan: (( little dragons should absolutely use lolspeak ))

Atargatis: Wooo!

Atargatis: (( Uh, that was OOC ))

Atargatis: (( Atargatis is not happy about kidnappings ))

Atargatis: (( Dragonnappings ))

Clementine: (( the dragons are sleeping? ))

Atargatis: (( We're totally getting manipulated by somebody. ))

Steely Dan: (( yes and he's sitting RIGHT OVER THERE *points at looney* ))

LooneyDM: (( well that's a given ))

LooneyGM: Last time our heroes fought a massive pumpkin. What it was doing underground nobody knows

Atargatis: (( ...Finding its roots? ))

Atargatis: "So why don't we go find out? We take the bugbear head and try to get passage to the queen. If this doesn't work, we just kill them all. If we an't get the queen to release the fairy dragon, we kill them all. If we find out they're working with the undead, we kill them all."

Atargatis: "I think this plan suits everyone's needs."

Helena: "Disturbingly high probability of genocide. Sounds like a party."

Atargatis: (( Please stop talking about whatever weird rape porn game you are talking about. I am trying to be heroic and dramatic here! ))

No more talking about F.A.T.A.L. around Atargatis.

LooneyDM out

Swashbuckling

My sky pirates game is entirely underway at this point. They do lack a certain pizazz not having a scantily clad figurehead, or a ship for that matter. All in good time.

Art from here

Sky Piratey quotes for you:

Lyril ( Going to heal Kefin there. )

Kefin (*GIGANTIC RELIEF SIGH*)

Hawkeye (Lyril is PARTY CLERK)

Hawkeye "Might want to tell 'em to come back, she's gonna blow."

Hawkeye sounds hilariously passe about all this

Sergio (yeah Hawkeye is practically off having a rollup XD )

Floret (Hmm... the guy I hit before... I am going to try to violently knock him unconscious for later interrogation! With the hilt of my awesome sword, of course)

LooneyGM (pommel away)

Hawkeye (also he should get +2 for SEXY BOD-AY)

Floret (Oh man, Sergio should have that as a... as a forte or foible)

Hawkeye (we'll call that the Fabio bonus)

Floret ('Loses shirt at every given opportunity')

Floret (This is the longest, bloodiest, most dramatic lifeboat trip ever)

Sergio (treasure! is it the fabled Golden Bearclaw?)

Hawkeye (no, it's the Emerald Eclair)

Sergio (THE DIAMOND MUFFIN??)

Hawkeye (The Ruby Rimoulade)

Sergio (platinum popover?)

LooneyDM out

Character concepts

Cookie Monster barbarian. Take a moment for that to sink in. Cookie Monster barbarian. You are now incredibly terrified of the player that would make such a concept or think they have come up with the most awesome idea ever. One way or the other you can easily identify your GMing style.

I recently finished up the monstergame campaign I was running. The quote on the poster sums up my learning experience nicely. The group I ran this monstergame for optimizes a lot more than my saturday group. Which just means I'll have to run a tighter ship if I want to run for them again. Wednesday group blows the CR system out of the water even when they're only using tier 3 classes. As contrasted with saturday group whom I can tell, make a gestalt character using any and all sources and I'll still end up with a group who can be challenged by a smartly played CR relevant encounter. Such is life.

Now that monstergame is done I've been requested to run a sky pirates game. Sky Pirates will be replacing monstergame on wednesdays. I'll be switching gears away from D&D to run Sky Pirates with the PDQ# system. This should lower my mechanical workload. I will definitely need the lowered workload as the group assembling for Sky Pirates is promising to be even crazier than the group I have saturday night. I'm merely hoping to keep them from turning their first airship trip into a flying circus before the end of the first play session. After that, all bets are off.

Last set of quotes from monstergame:

Heikon: (( Oh snap, Frightful Moan ))

Onotole: (( Just don't moan when next to the succubus ))

Moastuo: (( aye, one lesbian is enough ))

Moastuo: (( are you trying to seduce me? ))

Onotole: (( Please don't seduce him ))

LooneyDM: There's a soft thud and something drops onto the jail floor.

Onotole: (( Ew, he pooped ))

Onotole: "I wonder if we could bottle the acid somehow."

LooneyDM: (( if only you had some vials ))

Onotole: (( This is a wizard's tower. We should have ALL the vials. ))

Mallexantus: (( The party is vial, evil and unrepentant. ))

LooneyDM: (( alright, let's roll ))

Mallexantus: « 1d20 = 11 »

* Moastuo rolls: 1d20 => 15

* Onotole rolls: 1d20 => 2

Onotole: ...

Onotole: Yep.

Mallexantus: "I am Mallexantus, Kyton of Jangling Hiter, bound by the old wizard to act as his jailer until his death freed me."

Moastuo: (( is it bad that I'm misreading that as jangling hitler? ))

Onotole: (( I always do. ))

Mallexantus: (( nope, everyone does. ))

Onotole: (( Mallexantus having a moustache makes him even better. ))

Mallexantus: « 1d20-2 = 20 - 2 = 18 » Ignorance: everything

Mallexantus: (( ... ))

Onotole: (( That's one hell of an ignorance roll ))

LooneyDM: As Lilith speaks the words from the book the obelisk begins to glow.

Temujin: "This should prove illuminating."

Temujin: (( YEEEEEEEEEEAH ))

Onotole: (( I see Lilith has aroused the pillar. ))

Soban (Hybrid Form): "Its a wizard. They do dumb things because they are bored."

Onotole: "I take offense to that."

LooneyDM out

Sharks and PCs (Bonus post)

You know how player characters are. Given the slightest chance they'll jump the shark without the slightest hesitation. And spawn all sorts of ridiculous phrases.

Picture today from http://epicwinftw.com/

There's been a switch at the saturday morning game. We've mostly all rolled new characters and Cecilia has taken over as DM. Thus all incoming quotes where it says DM it means Cecilia. Our regular DM is playing the character named Gareth. Other switches

Goldielocks = Akuma

Tirah = Tsoria

Vimac = Ying Z

Quotes:

Ying Z: My character wants to hide under the bed.

Tsoria: Put on your big girl panties and let's go.

DM: Huge stone buttresses.

Gareth: heh heh, she said butt.

DM: The fog is very thick and everywhere.

Gareth: Can I cut it with a knife?

DM: I'm not going to have a skill challenge for you to bury the guy.

Ying Z: The gypsies are probably down by the river.

Looney & Tsoria: In a van!

Ying Z: Someone is in trouble, run away!

Akuma: I probe the gypsies.

DM: They ignore you.

Gareth: I'd ignore you too if a crystal alien was probing me.

Gareth: I was going to say "Put away your sword or you'll have a hammer in your skull."

DM: That would be diplomacy.

Gareth: I use athletics to flex and indimidate him. *rolls a 19* Welcome to the gun show!

Tsoria: Put those away honey.

Kiju: Your wife is dazed and knocked prone.

DM: He locks up your sword.

Gareth: That will be hard because I'm using a hammer.

Ying Z: We'll sleep, fetch Araynay, mount our horses

Gareth: I don't want to know what you do with your horse.

DM: This is about mood so I have to draw the map so you can fiddle with the bits.

Looney: If you can't fiddle your bits it's not old school D&D.

DM: I'll draw the stairs with an arrow showing which way you can go.

Gareth: You can only go one way on the stairs?

Kiju: I open the door and peek through, what do I see?

Gareth: You see us walk through the door.

Gareth: You're stealthy and we're the distraction.

Akuma: 6:06, that's off by an hour (note: it was 10:45)

Ying Z: The last fight damaged my character's psyche so much that she's now recklessly stupid.

Looney: I see (standing in a cloud of darkness)

Akuma: Actually you don't.

Kiju: Save the ranger.

Gareth: Save the world.

Kiju: You guys are married now. Consummate!

Tsoria: Ying Z always rolls more dice than anyone else.

Ying Z: I build my characters that way on purpose.

Gareth: Roll better, shake it more!

Tsoria: Do we get a synergy bonus since we're married.

Looney: You failed your save against ongoing stupidity.

Gareth: The new name for your Everburning torch is Everbursting torch.

Looney: You're a hunk of crystal.

Ying Z: A hunka hunka burning crystal.

LooneyDM out.

Wall of Fire (and quotes)

The wall of fire! It burns! Sadly I have no quotes about setting things on fire. But I do have quotes:

Clementine: You're welcome, Tar-tar.

Clementine: Wait... where did that come from?

Atargatis: "...Tar-Tar?"

Helena: (( now watch, THIS swordsage has awesome fort saves ))

LooneyDM: (( just for you he got a save boost ))

Helena: (( WHAT? ))

Helena: (( you bastage ))

LooneyDM: (( just kidding ))

Helena: (( :( ))

* Helena tacitly pulls a wand from her cloak. Suddenly the entire area is covered in thick mist.

LooneyDM: (( obsucring mist? ))

Steely Dan: (( that is so dirty ))

Nelven: (( ... ))

Steely Dan: (( pulls out a WAND ))

Steely Dan: (( THICK MIST ))

Nelven: (( get that head out of the gutter ))

Helena: (( wow, short session is short ))

Atargatis: ....I forgot to set my pizza-cooking timer

Steely Dan: YER MAKIN' PIZZA!?

Nelven: What's a... pizza?

Steely Dan: Ah dinnae ken, but if'n ye cook it, it must be food

Helena: "Pizza is delicious."

Atargatis: (( Hey, when Atargatis says things, she puts it in quotes ))

Atargatis: (( So really she just emoted the sensation of having forgotten to set a timer for pizza ))

LooneyDM: The lightning bolt tickles the scorpion

Nelven: (( does it giggle? ))

*giant scorpion crab grapple pins Atargatis

Helena: (( to transpose Nelven and Atargatis or not to transpose Nelven and Atargatis... ))

Nelven: (( what! ))

Steely Dan: (( by the way steely is slightly more intelligent now. I upped his int. ))

Steely Dan: (( now I am dumb as a rock ))

Steely Dan: (( instead of dumber than a rock ))

*talking about a folding boat that changes size when the magic words "hokey pokey" are spoken*

Clementine: We should name this boat.

Nelven: (( the hokey pokey? ))

Atargatis: (( No, if we did that, it would change size every time we tried to talk about it ))

Helena: (( Looney, I want to do something outside of the rules ))

LooneyDM: (( what sort of something? ))

Steely Dan: (( seducing the bugbears is illegals ))

LooneyDM: (( seducing is well within the rules ))

Clementine: (( I think the bugbears should spell words... like a marching band. ))

Atargatis: (( That's what would pep up this fight - a Sousa march! ))

*LooneyDM spells out "DIE" with the bugbears

Clementine: (( ... but not that word. ))

Steely Dan: (( ... ))

Steely Dan: (( I FEEL LIKE ))

Steely Dan: (( THEY ARE TRYING ))

Steely Dan: (( TO TELL ME SOMETHING ))

LooneyDM: (( Atargatis is up ))

Helena: (( crack its head open ))

Helena: (( ELDER MOUNTAIN HAMMER ))

Atargatis: (( Might as well! It's HAMMER TIME ))

* Atargatis rolls: 1d20+14 => 20 + 14 = 34

Atargatis: (( ... ))

Helena: (( YES ))

Steely Dan: (( YEAH ))

Steely Dan: (( UNLEASH THE FURY ))

*bugbear was overkilled by 70 points of damage

* Nelven rolls: 4d6+2 Scorching Ray => 10 + 2 = 12

Nelven: (( average, figures. ))

Nelven: (( is he still alive? ))

LooneyDM: The bugbear burns but remains standing.

LooneyDM: (( WITH ONE HIT POINT! ))

Steely Dan: (( highfive! ))

Steely Dan: (( or in this case... lowfive? ))

Atargatis: (( Lowfive it is! ))

* Atargatis rolls: 1d8+4+1d6+2d6+2d6+4d6 damage groar! => 1 + 4 + 2 + 12 + 12 + 20 = 51

Atargatis: (( Survive THAT ))

LooneyDM: (( Clementine is up ))

Helena: (( she does a jig ))

* Clementine does an old-woman jig.

* Clementine 's arms flap in the breeze.

* Steely Dan rolls: 1d20+16 => 9 + 16 = 25

LooneyDM: (( that will hit, if your luck holds true ))

Steely Dan: (( okay ))

Steely Dan: (( I will say... high hits ))

* Steely Dan rolls: 1d100 => 51

*After the party fails to miss despite being entirely blinded AGAIN!

LooneyDM: (( I hate you all ))

Atargatis: (( Hate us? We're just trying to wrap up the fight so you can rest your aching muscles! ))

Atargatis: (( We kill your bugbears because we love you! ))

Steely Dan: (( we paint a window on the wall ))

Steely Dan: (( and then you use the sphere ))

Steely Dan: (( oh and we put spikes in that window ))

Steely Dan: (( so the sphere throws them on spikes ))

Steely Dan: (( and we'll cover the spikes with acid too. for good measure. ))

Nelven: (( i like that idea! ))

Atargatis: (( Me too ))

LooneyDM: (( let's get this show on the road ladies ))

Clementine: (( not even going to give us a chance to use diplomacy? ))

Steely Dan: (( ...hahaha we are all chicks aren't we ))

Steely Dan: (( yeah but it's just funny when he's all "let's go ladies" and I'm like "hey we're not... oh wait, our CHARACTERS are male" ))

Steely Dan: (( the window is good. our trap is laid. ))

LooneyDM: (( it's like the window from good night moon ))

Steely Dan: (( yes except it's GOOD NIGHT BUGBEARS AMIRITE ))

Atargatis: (( I do have a second attack stat ))

Atargatis: (( But I've never used it ))

LooneyDM: (( no time like the present ))

* Atargatis rolls: 1d20+11 => 1 + 11 = 12

LooneyDM: (( I gues the present hates you ))

Atargatis: (( No presents? Aw! ))

LooneyDM: (( why is this bugbear named paul? ))

Clementine: (( why not? ))

Clementine: (( don't you LIKE his name? ))

LooneyDM: (( because it's a horrible name for a bug bear ))

Clementine: (( he's rather attached to it. ))

Clementine: (( now you've hurt his feelings ;n; ))

Atargatis: (( Paul and George, but no John or Ringo? ))

LooneyDM: (( they should be named stuff like undergotten ))

LooneyDM: (( not Paul ))

Clementine: (( John and Ringo are dead. ))

Atargatis: (( Then name some of the dead Bugbears John and Ringo ))

Clementine: (( I suppose you don't like Larry, either? ))

VortDM: (( no ))

Nelven: (( who gave them names? XD ))

Clementine: (( <_<>

LooneyDM: (( at least there's no curly or moe ))

Atargatis: (( How about Inky, Blinky, and Sue? ))

Clementine: (( they get points in stooging. ))

Steely Dan: (( could be another larry ))

Steely Dan: (( like, the cable guy ))

Clementine : I have a nice PIE for yoU!

Steely Dan: Pie?

Steely Dan: Ah'd like some pie

* Clementine whispers. Doom pie.

Helena: (( Then I'd name the horse Pikachu Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way the Electric Emo Horse ))

Clementine: (( nakidmancer? ))

Helena: (( I want the deathknight to be my pet ))

Clementine: (( that sounds kinky. ))

Helena: (( I'll call him Charlie ))

Helena: (( I count 1 bugbear, and its name is JEREMIAH ))

Helena: (( today's session will be sitting down and having a nice tea with Jeremiah ))

Steely Dan: (( I shall bring the crumpets ))

Nelven: (( okay then, myko, you need to infiltrate that bugbear lair, and find a way to kil that deathknight before it gets to us ))

Clementine: (( initiation! ))

Helena: (( « 1d20+19 = 19 + 19 = 38 » bugbear warrior ))

Steely Dan: (( oh man you are gonna know EVERYTHING ))

Helena: (( I make a check for each type, right? ))

Steely Dan: (( what his favorite color is ))

Steely Dan: (( boxers or briefs ))

Nelven: (( do you want me to grab the wand now or later? ))

Nelven: (( i can do my own empowering first ))

Helena: (( grab the rod now ))

Steely Dan: (( grab it. oh yeah. that's it. ))

Steely Dan: (( grab it REAL GOOD ))

Helena: (( .... ))

Nelven: (( ... ))

Steely Dan: (( <_<>

Helena: (( stupid magic items being suggestive ))

Nelven: (( up yours ))

Steely Dan: (( no I think helena wants it up yours ))

LooneyDM out