LooneyDM out
Tor: Fists of Flurry.
Looney: It gives the enemy a brain freeze.
Bones: Let me guess. It goes splody and the acid goes up our noses.
Gareth: This room is probably safer.
Thalia: But this room is stinky.
DM: You have to spend the next 8 hours praying to your gods to bring Tor back and 8 hours to heal him.
Looney(halfing storm sorcerer): While I defibrillate.
Curd(minotaur): And I perform CPR.
Curd(minotaur): Let the cow end it.
Thalia: It would be a mooving ending.
DM: Tor
Curd: Tor it up man.
Curd: Huzzah
Looney: That's what I was waiting for
Gareth: Charge Curd
Curd charges and misses, again
DM: The armor on the stand changes from junk to something else.
Gareth: +1 junk
Tor: I fist the skeleton
DM: There are silver and platinum dragon statues.
Curd: I peel the foil off and eat the chocolate.
DM: Curd, I mean Turd's turn.
Thalia: Where's the beef?
Curd(minotaur): In the back!
Curd: Come on goring charge. I hit! I'm surprised!
Gareth: So are we.
Thalia: I move next to the cow and hope I'm not downwind.
Gareth: I say...
Curd: Monkeys.
Gareth: I do say that a lot.
Curd: I use wild shape.
Looney: Wild shit?
Curd: That would stink.
Curd: The statue now grants combat advantage.
Gareth: We need it.
Thalia: I hate choosing feats.
Curd: Me too, I can never choose left or right.
Thalia: That's a lot of blood. How many anime characters did they kill?
Bones: Vampires. (To Curd) We need you to turn into a celestial dentist.
Curd: What are you going to do when they come for you. Portal hands, Portal hands (Last fight of keep on the shadowfell)
Gareth: Unless Orcus comes through we're fine.
Curd: If his big toe comes through, we're screwed.
Gareth: His vorpal toe nail decapitates the entire party.
Talon: Surrender and die!
DM: He's in a pickle.
Thistle: Looks more like a sammich.
DM: This is definitely the armory. 20 spears, 30 glaives, 2 barrels of brandy.
Gerta: And a partridge in a pear tree.
Looney: I flail with my flail.
Gerta: I have this image of the half-orc waking up with curlers and a sleep mask.
DM: He continues his hooting.
Talon: Hootie and the blowfish.
Talon: I throw a body in the water.
DM: Another claw drags the body under.
Thistle: This is fun. Throw another one in.
Thistle(Ranger): The ranger tells you there is a 90% chance of raining monsters.
DM: It's the most deatherous.
Talon: Dwarves are the klansmen of D&D.
Looney: Defenstrate!
DM: You slice through his spine.
Looney: Quick, prop him back up and have him tell the other guards that everything is fine.
Osix: Can I disable the ballista?
Gerta: Just cut the string!
DM: He runs away and you hear a splash.
All: *looks into the room*
DM: It's the toilet. 40 foot down to the cesspool.
All: Ewww
Thistle: he was looking a little flushed.
DM: Are you shooting at the one on the left or the right?
Osix: Yes.
DM: You hit him and he goes down the toilet.
Thistle: I'll draw a little barn since he's stable.
Looney: Are there more monkeys?
DM: No those are ninjas.
Thistle: Does Gerta want to grab my sword as she goes down.
Osix: That sounds kinky.
Thistle: We're so cautious now.
Gerta: Dying will do that to you.
Bartox: I smash the door open quietly. I use a pillow.
DM: You find a small locked chest.
Osix: I search it for traps.
DM: You find none.
Osix: Is it locked?
Talon: What was that on the floor?
Thistle: Besides his head.
Talon: I use my superior intellect to figure it out.
DM: This is first edition, your superior intellect isn't going to do squat.
DM: The plate mail is for a 7 foot tall guy. It probably won't fit.
Thistle: We have a blacksmith. He can hem it.
Looney: The ranger has traded her dog for a wild boar. This is an upgrade because if it dies it can be lunch.
Looney: I use a mirror to reflect the lightning bolt.
DM: That won't work.
Osix: What if it was a rubber mirror
Osix: We almost killed a slanty eyed lady
DM: You racist bastard
Osix: Werebear
Thistle: As opposed to a carebear
DM: You take 10 points of frost damage.
Thistle: Do you like my frosted tips?
*laughter*
Thistle: You're all dirty.
Osix: My name used to be Evil Elf Woman
Bartox: Can I bullrush the minotaur?
Looney: Giant Dwarf
Osix: The pit trap is secure. *walks forward and falls into it*
Talon: I laugh uncontrollably.
Osix: I'm a slowed salty snack right now
Talon: I throw darts as our sled arrives. Drive by shooting.
DM: Who's female?
Osix: *returns to gaming table* "I rolled a 20 on that"
Looney: On your poo check?
Gerta: I am not goosing the dwarf
Thistle: 9
DM: Nien
Looney: Are gnolls people?
DM: The floor is made of sand.
Gerta: If anyone needs to use the litterbox, now is the time.
Talon (wizard): I'm going to keep it and call it Bob
DM: 3 tentacles lash out at Gerta and 3 tentacles lash out at Buttocks (Bartox)
Players: Roll low!
DM: *Rolls dice into his coffee mug* Oh it's a 1.
DM: Thistle's up
Osix: Thistle's hurt
Osix: I have a short longsword
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