DM: How do you know it's a he?
Looney: It doesn't have boobs.
Goldielocks: I checked it out.
Cecilia: My ears can't hear that sort of potty language. They're not a toilet.
DM: Well flibberty gibbet to you.
Goldielocks: My hair can't be cut by normal blades.
Cecilia: I can always count on you to make the conversation stupider.
Goldielocks (writing on character sheet): Prayer beads for hair.
Cecilia (after another crappy initiative roll): That's it! Next feat I'm taking is danger sense so I can roll twice for initiative.
Looney: That'll let you roll two 2's instead of one.
DM: The staff does electric damage.
Cecilia: Does it require batteries?
Goldielocks: I've got my hat of +INT on so I'll be extra witty today.
Goldielocks: I know you're around our level because we saw you.
DM: It's a conch of summoning. Allies within one mile know your exact location and status effects.
Attapacca: It's a GPS conch!
DM: The battle rages!
Vimac and Goldielocks: * machine gun and hand grenade noises *
Goldielocks: The trap was two tesla coils on a train.
DM: Two testicles?
Goldielocks: My hair will shield us all!
Vimac(Upon examining Goldielocks dice collection and finding pink dice): You have hello kitty dice too, don't you?
Goldielocks: This hat gives me +1 to attack rolls.