Thursday, September 9, 2010

Evil Hideouts (and quotes)

Ever wish you had a secret lair? Ever wish you had a theme song to go with that secret lair? I sure do. Seeing Jonathan Coulton at PAX got me thinking about evil lairs and hideouts. Even if I wasn't evil I think I'd want one. After all you get to hide stuff in them and have secrets. Secret passages! Also plenty of room to have one of those big world maps to plot world domination. Or play wargames. To stick with the theme here's quotes from the monster game I DM. They're fairly evil and getting worse every session.

Soban: (( Which we heroically rescued... Most of ))
Moastuo: (( "heroically" ))

* Moastuo has apparently taken the wrong portal and ended up in a senate chamber or something, what with all the voting and debate.

Onotole: (( Tell Lilith about the rod >:C ))
Heikon: (( We should just get together and award Lilith Knowledge: The Rod. ))
Heikon: (( She's an expert in her field ))

Onotole: (( Man, today's rolls have been great ))
Lilith: (( ... ))
Soban (Hybrid Form): « token.init = 1d20+2 = token.init = (1 + 2) = 3 »
Lilith: (( you be fucking quiet ))

LooneyDM: Heikon shakes the green eyed monster like a baby
Heikon: (( SIDS full attack! ))

Moastuo: "Wouldn't mind some more kobolds, myself."
Onotole: "There is no challenge to kobolds."
Moastuo: "Who said anything about challenge?"
Onotole: "If we're not challenged, then we can't know our limits. And if we don't know our limits, we can't improve upon them in a later iteration."
Moastuo: "Maybe I want to find some kobolds because they taste good, unlike everything else we've run into."
Onotole: "You're just like Heikon, always thinking of food."

Onotole: (( Lilith is having fun at the library? ))
Moastuo: (( what are you implying, good sir? ))
LooneyDM: Mallexantus, Onotole, and Heikon nail the last two as they try to feel
LooneyDM: (( flee ))
Onotole: (( Now they're trying to feel Lilith, who is having fun at the library ))

Lilith: (( « 1d20+23 = 20 + 23 = 43 » spot « 1d20+23 = 20 + 23 = 43 » listen ))
Lilith: (( ...what ))
Lilith: (( the fuck ))
Lilith: (( jesus fucking christ on a motherfucking stick ))

Onotole: (( Wait, why are Fisto and his friend, Fisto Jr, here? ))
Lilith: (( magic ))
Heikon: (( Oh shit, portal to 4e ))
*Moastuo having fun with tokens from his other game

LooneyDM: (( right then. xps ))
Onotole: (( Looney, if you say 679 XP, I will throttle you ))
Heikon: (( Of course not. ))
Heikon: (( 678. ))
Onotole: (( Don't make the throttle you too ))

Onotole: (( It doesn't really matter where they're going ))
Lilith: (( it doesn't? ))
Heikon: (( "we got our asses kicked" is all they're gonna get from him for Intel ))

Heikon: (( One save. On a 20. GOD, I love being scary. ))
Mallexantus: (( welcome to the dark side. ))

Moastuo: (( ceasing concentration on Ono's rage, duration is 5 rounds. Standard to throw a Rage at soban ))
Onotole: (( I'm imagining Moastuo as the medic Ubercharging ))
Moastuo: (( more of a kritz than an uber ))
Mallexantus: (( I am heavy weapons monstrosity. And this... is my axe. ))
Onotole: (( It costs two hundred thousand gp to swing this axe for twelve seconds ))
Onotole: (( One of you sneaks is Spy ))
Moastuo: (( I've been disguised for the entirety of the game, if it's anyone, it's me ))
Heikon: (( ...Heikon's the Pyro, isn't she. ))
Onotole: (( Heikon is very W+M1, yes ))

Mallexantus: (( I'm the embodiment of lawful evil. Be efficient, be polite, and always have a plan to kill everyone you meet. ))

Onotole: (( You must construct additional dakka ))

LooneyDM out

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