Elves are such hippies. Living in trees. Carving houses out of trees. Carving STAIRS out of trees. Curvy, flowing stairs that look like an acid trip spawned their creation. What is with elves and making everything out of wood? Homes, bowls, art, even weapons. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that elves are so obsessed with wood, given how ambiguous they are. One look at those huge shafts sticking up out of the ground, with those elvish houses perched on top and you know there's something kinky in the mind of the whole darn race. Bunch of perverts the lot of them. No wonder the drow turned out the way they did. They started with a ambiguous perverted race like elves and got even more twisted and kinky. Thank goodness thri-keen exist to keep their numbers down or their perverted plague could spread across the entire world!
If any elf fans were insulted by this post, you deserved it.