I really don't have anything to say about this other than good luck trying to move a guy made out of sand without loosing any parts. A true resurrection spell is in his future. That or a character reroll if the party can't (or won't) scrape together the funds for it.
Not every boss battle has to be about combat. Some of them can be about other things. And it can really throw you players for a loop if they're expecting combat. "We buff up and charge in!" "The final battle begins! Dance off for the fate of the universe!" "Wtf?!"
Gnomes. Loved. Hated. Nothing in between. Such is life for our tiny big-nosed prankster friends. They only prank you because they care. About your unending suffering at the hands of a thousand tiny practical jokes. Mwa ha ha ha.
Players tend to expect things. When they start expecting thrones, especially ones belonging to npcs, you need to have a sit down dragged out talk with them. If that doesn't work, convert to brawling forthwith.
Zombies! They have gotten to my brains. My last stand was more of the silly type. Here's some quotes
Commoners beware! The kobolds are infesting the janitorial staff. I've always wondered about kobolds. They're like the picked on kid of the D&D universe. Them and goblins. Of course having them in a more modern setting would lead to all sorts of interesting conundrums. Likely they'd be subjugated like they always are but instead of cannon fodder they'd be janitors and garbagemen and all the other lowly jobs no one else wants to do. Hooray for inherent systematic racism!
In 3.5 D&D there are these wonderful things called templates. They allow for such craziness as flying pigs, ghostly gelatinous cubes, and all other manner of bizarre monstrosities. Before I found out about templates I would just do silly things like fire pigs out of catapults or ballistas. There was also the time they were on strings. 
Epic is in the eye of the beholder. Sometimes literally. Not so much when you're facing down an entire undead army. A great way to let your players know that they have arrived is the quality of the enemies they face. Fighting bandits and rats puts them near the bottom of the food chain, even if they never see much else. It's when they move on up to monsters and opponents that are threats to entire nations that they can say they've become big heroes. Now this isn't the be and end all of epic, but it's certainly one of its parts. Until next time.
I entirely like this picture. It's like a visual aid that you could whip out for an amazing RPG session. But it would take way too much work to do something like this all the time, which runs right into the point. You have to leave room for the player's imagination in your descriptions. Leave no doubt about the major points but give hints as to what else may be in the area. This is the essence of efficient descripting.
Look! A distraction! That should keep you from realizing I haven't updated in nearly a week. Sadly I don't have a sexy lady to distract you from my dragon of lack of updates but it will have to suffice. So here's a poster and some quotes.
I have at times succumbed to the lure of videogames when I should be prepping for games. Rarely, but more frequently of late. I blame this particular game. It's called Torchlight. I really should not get so into this game, but it's so fun. Thankfully I've got everything planned out for one of my games until the end of the campaign.
If there's one thing I've found about the internet it's that it is difficult to get a good group together permanently. People have to go places, people have other stuff they want to do, people have real life engagements. The biggest problem I've run into is getting a group together that meshes well in playstyle expectations. That and finding a DM to run. I run two games a week, and play about once every other week due to the schedule of my one game. Thankfully the players are all good. But there are days that I wish I could play more, and not just in pick up groups I've not played with before. Oh well. I don't feel like contorting that much.
If you don't shoot the mage first, you've got no one to blame but yourself when she summons another demon after you kill the first. Really it's a time honored tradition. The heavy armored dude in front isn't the problem in the fight. It's the mage behind him. Usually the mage is dropping buffs as well which makes for double the fun. Either way, shoot the mage (or medic) first. It'll save you trouble in the long run. 
Nose Ring. Nothing says badass like that. Or says image problems. Especially when its a giant eagle with a nose ring. I mean how does that even work? Puncture straight through the beak? That can't be safe, sanitary or even remotely sensible. The other question is, who did it? The eagle clearly couldn't since it has no hands. Perhaps a wizard did it. Now I have images of a wizard running a piercing and tattoo parlor for monsters who want that special tough look to intimidate adventurers.
My sky pirates game is entirely underway at this point. They do lack a certain pizazz not having a scantily clad figurehead, or a ship for that matter. All in good time.
I have no thoughts for today. So here's a fancy dress steampunk lady riding a giant clockwork sparrow
Picture is unrelated. Sorta. My sky pirates campaign rolled out on Wednesday. I'm using the Swashbucklers of the Seven Skies setting with the PDQ# rules. One of the specified points of character creation is a character's motivation. Yeah yeah, I know a character is supposed to have a motivation regardless but the way it works into this game is straight up brilliant. Motivation is a game mechanic that can take hits, which in turn generates story hooks. The really lovely part I like as a GM is that all my players have written up what amounts to a one line description of a point that interests their character in world. It makes my job so much easier when I can throw together a convoluted mess that hits on all the characters motivations to bring them together rather than relying on their metagame senses to accept each other in game. 
The bigger the boom, the more fun you're having. Overkill is just enough kill.
Going back to the fire and colors theme here. Mostly because I found some awesome picture of aurora borealis on the web. Nothing says pyrotechnics like a sky full of amazing colors. Which is also what you get when the cleric casts flame strike. Praise be to Kossuth!
Mr Killer here has found a brand new suit. Recently removed from the body of whomever he left dead in the next room. This is something you need to watch out for when switching genres. The players being used to needing those phat lewtz start looting dead bodies at the scene of crimes, when they should be using it as clues for evidence. Such is the pitfall of switching genres. The only thing to be done is create a situation where the extra loot simply doesn't help. Systems that aren't quite so item dependent for character power can be lifesavers in this regard. This is of course assuming that you can get your players to agree to those systems. 
Cookie Monster barbarian. Take a moment for that to sink in. Cookie Monster barbarian. You are now incredibly terrified of the player that would make such a concept or think they have come up with the most awesome idea ever. One way or the other you can easily identify your GMing style.
All the spell casting classes in D&D have their iconic spells. The wizard has fireball and magic missile. The cleric has cure wounds and turn undead (yeah yeah I know, not technically a spell). The druid has call lightning. Nothing quite says "Why yes nature is my mother and she's exceptionally displeased with you right now" more than one of the most concentrated destructive displays of nature's power directed at your person. Be afraid, for druids can make lightning strike twice. Or even more.
Do you feel that burning sensation? Creeping up from inside you until it consumes your entire body? Yes. That's why you don't mess with the pyromancer. Especially not the female pyromancer. Really, why does anyone every think it's a good idea to mess with the pyromancer. It is however, a wonderful way to get burned.
You know how player characters are. Given the slightest chance they'll jump the shark without the slightest hesitation. And spawn all sorts of ridiculous phrases. 
It's the truth. You can never have too many dice. And when you're Wil Wheaton you can ask everyone to help you acquire more. It's one of the amazing things you can do with a horde of geek fans. There are many other things you can do with a horde of geek fans but those will be discussed at a later date.
I know this is late to the party, but it's still worth the joke. I know I've commented on it in my games before. Especially when people are wondering what the gender of a humaniod is. Just look at the mini. If it has frontal lobes then its totally a female. Inescapable D&D logic right there.
I have no words to describe this flaming familiar or the funky fire tip crossbow she's wielding.
Is your tank asking for ranged options? Is your bard feeling the blues? Have no fear, the magic item guide has your answer. Potion of Fire breathing! Rather than some half assed bow you can gran your tank a classy ranged weapon that really says "I'm the life of the party" rather than "plink plink plink". Your bard can stylize his performance with a real explosive ending. They're good for everyone! Imagine the enemies surprise when the entire party opens up with fire breathing. They'll know for certain that a good 16d6 fire damage hit them right where it hurt! Buy your potions today! Supplies limited so act now. Only 500 gp!*
This week I've had a burning passion to make posters about fire. Today's poster gives you a heads up on why the pyromancer should no longer be invited to barbecues. Open flame and pyromancers never mixes well. At least for everyone else. The pyromancer would say that everything went burningly wonderful. I think I need a book of pyromancer euphemisms. Stuff along the lines of "By the flames!" or "Prepare for fiery doom!" or "I've got a burning sensation!" It would be a tool for players every where, even if they weren't playing a pyromaniac. 
Setting things on fire. One of the humble pasttimes of RPG characters everywhere. What is it about fire than entrances us so? Is it the primal fascination with something so unlike anything else occurring in nature that draws us in? The hypnotic motion of the flicker light? The fact that it emits light so close to us? I assume we do it for the pretty colors. Same goes for explosions.
There's something to be said for non-complex games. And then people have to go doing crazy things like adding more complexity to games like rock paper scissors. Wasn't the original good enough for you? Did you have to mess it up so much with all those house rules that while technically balanced are nigh impossible to remember? I get this way about people adding massive amounts of homebrew to simple rpgs as well. It just doesn't make any sense! 
Rescue quests are a staple of fantasy gaming and RPGs in general. This cliche trope exists in nearly every D&D campaign that has been run. This doesn't stop an enterprising DM from changing things up to play off the assumptions of the players for everyone's amusement. Like having the princess be quite happy to be out of her stuffy home and having fun painting up the dragon. If you're stuck for ideas I recommend "The Ransom of Red Chief" by O Henry. 
Plane shift is a lovely way to start a campaign. Or end one. Which reminds me. One of my saturday games shifted to ravenloft. There was much rejoicing. *muted yay*. The immediate upside is that our regular DM is hilarious as a player, especially when he bounces comments off either his wife or another player he's been playing D&D with forever. The other upside is our stand in DM likes us to play at higher levels so we're mid paragon (4e stuff) tier for this one shot into ravenloft. After that it's another plane shift to dark sun! Bring on the starvation, dehydration, and cannibalism! 
We've all had that new player. Whether they arrive of their own volition or dragged by a friend they happen to all DMs. One player who simply doesn't get it and makes honest mistakes to the amusement of all the others at the table. You have to keep your amusement to yourself though or they may not come back. That's one variety. 
There are days I wish I could be prepared enough to run an epic sandbox game IN SPACE! Then I realize I barely keep this blog updated on time and won't be able to rock that sort of preparation.
Ever wish you had a secret lair? Ever wish you had a theme song to go with that secret lair? I sure do. Seeing Jonathan Coulton at PAX got me thinking about evil lairs and hideouts. Even if I wasn't evil I think I'd want one. After all you get to hide stuff in them and have secrets. Secret passages! Also plenty of room to have one of those big world maps to plot world domination. Or play wargames. To stick with the theme here's quotes from the monster game I DM. They're fairly evil and getting worse every session.
